the book of whimsy ✓

i lost you

this one's more recent... enjoy!

---

i lost you

there's so much that i

didn't get to say

and i think that's the

worst part

it's not the

all-consuming

numbness

the embarrassment that

floods my cheeks

with red

as i realize

you can't lose someone

you never had

yet i did

i lost you

and i keep

reaching out through this

void

that you left in your

absence

leaving messages

sending you things

that you'll never read

because we're

done

why don't i want to

understand that?

i have to understand that

i lost you

and i was always

speechless

breathless

when it came to you

even though i

have so much to say

there's so much

left unsaid

between us

i wanted to

take it slow

ease you in

to the whirling

cacophony

of my mind

dissonant clangs

off-key notes

i didn't get the chance

because

i lost you

first

and for once in my

goddamn life

i decided to

go for it

to take that leap

off of the cliff

and fall

fall

fall

fall

i fell

and i smacked the

ground

when i was done

and yet

i was still praying

that this was some kind of

sick joke