the book of whimsy ✓

spacing out

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i feel like i'm

spacing out

as though life is

moving

people are

changing

time is

speeding on

but i'm

stuck in this

dreamworld

fantasy

drowning in a

well

but the water is

made of

wishes

sitting on

rocks

but the rocks are

hopes that

came crashing

down

from

heaven

i feel like i'm

losing faith

though i didn't

have much to

begin with

and i don't believe

in god

or angels

or a saving grace

because nothing

has saved

me

and the waves are

crashing over my

head

but the waves are

made of

tears

and the knives are

piercing my heart

but the metal is

made of

sorrow

i feel like i've

had enough

of this world

of this life

but i can't bear to

disappoint

the people who

love me

any more than i

already do

and while i would

love

to disappear

and fade

into nothingness

i want my

name

on the pages of

history books

and you don't

get that

from being another

dead body

in that year's

casualty count

i feel like i'm

waiting up

for something

but i don't know

what

and if i keep

standing still

for longer than i

already have

i'm going to

lose sight of

life

in the distance

and only see the

ever-present

yawning void

of nothingness

and i'll

dive right in

with reckless

abandon

as though the

dive

would make my

troubles

cease to exist

i feel like i'm

watching this movie

from afar

i'm sitting in the

theater

munching on my

buttery

salted

popcorn

as my friends

family

enemies

lovers

partake in the

movie

in every scene

in the good

and the bad

and i'm just

numb

watching

from far away

helpless to

change

the course of my

existence

and when i

sit in my classes

or talk with my

parents

my mind

wanders

like a traveler

in the dark

they said that

not all those who

wander

are lost

but i feel

lost

i can't

focus

anymore

where i used to be

driven

i'm now

childish and petty

where i used to have

dreams

now i have

melancholy memories

of things that

should have been

but weren't

i feel like i'm

spacing out

can someone help me

space in

again?