the book of whimsy ✓

nothings, in numbered order

i've been messing around with different formats for my poetry... thoughts?

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i've put a lot of
thought
into this poem
perhaps not
consciously
but subconsciously
it's there
this is a compilation
a collection
of all the meaningless
nothings
that have drifted
through my mind
about me
and you

one

i love the way you
laugh
it's a bubbling laugh
like that of a nymph or a goddess
a mermaid, perhaps
or a siren
because you drew me in
and then drowned me

two

i love your attitude
your unapologetically optimistic
aura
you don't much care what the
world
thinks
you know, in your heart of hearts
that as long as the moon is in
aquarius
you have reason to smile
and i did too, until you left

three

i love your beauty
inside and out
i love the way that your beauty
made me feel beautiful
it's strange how things work like that
but they do
you were beautiful
you still are
but perhaps it's difficult for me to
see it now
because all i feel when i look at you
is heartbreak

four

i love the way you live without hesitation
carpe diem
was your life motto
or perhaps it would've been, had i
thought to ask you what yours was
i'll just assume
just like i've spent the last
month
assuming so much about you
you didn't hesitate to let me in
open arms
i wish they had stayed open
for a little longer

five

i love the way you broke me
i love the way that you saw every inch
of my shattered soul
and stitched it all up tight
wrapped me in bandages galore
used your words and your kindnesses
to show me how to tend my own
wounds
i love that you brought me to a place
i hadn't seen in a long time
self-love
or the beginnings of it at least
i love that you held my heart in your
hands
and then let it shatter

and perhaps
though i'm not willing to admit it
and i don't quite believe it,
i didn't simply love
your laugh, your attitude, your beauty,
your lack of hesitation, the way you
broke me
perhaps, in loving those things,
i fell in love
with you
perhaps that's why it
hurt so bad
when you didn't
love me back.