Sincerely, The girl who left words Unsaid

43. Goodbye my lover_James Blunt

8/3

Everyone posed for another random cliché photo. He did join in a few just because he was obsessed with his 'Wolverine Jacket' and wanted to flaunt it with its new Jack and Jones sneakers. Undoubtedly he looked his best that last day in the last three years of his college.

He didn't care much about ten minutes because he knew he was about to leave the college in half an hour but he didn't wish to leave without meeting Jenny one last time. He badly needed to see her because his last meeting, two days ago was where she just ignored him, like always in front of her friends at the gate where he waited for an hour just to talk for a minute.

He wanted to change things. It didn't matter how bad it got because he saw what it was capable of becoming. He saw faith in their relationship. The world didn't see how much he was investing in her, he was willing to be someone better, be positive, talked about faith, and was trying to walk out of the mess. But, it was okay to him because when she couldn't only see it he wasn't expecting the world to notice.

He walked to and fro and gave up.  He called Jenny at 9:30 am knowing the teacher wouldn't be around and she might pick it up. She wasn't sure herself to pick up or not after what happened the other day and she was afraid to hear him blast out on him. But she did pick it up.

"Where are you, Jenny?"

"In the lecture"

"When will you be free?"

"11:30 am"

"Okay."

The conversation was brief, she told her the time because she hoped he would wait. He was heartbroken because he knew he had to leave but he had no choice. He left his class with their discussion about where they want to go and eat for lunch and he just went to keybosh and sat.

 He just looked at the gate. He had his three years playing in his head on a rewind. His decision to take finance and not management somewhere else, and then how he wasn't allowed to leave it. The times he waited at the gate for Rachel in the first year, walking out with seniors in the second year and then having bad memories with Jenny right there and walking alone. It almost felt like one by one every single person he knew in college came walking in from that gate, crossed the quadrangle and climbed right up the keybosh, and stood with him. Whispered every joke they shared and revived old stories, not many though, just a few amazing ones, and laughed once again. The smoke reanimation of these people took him to places where he once was happy and it felt good. These people were his own.

He knew for a fact that it was his last day with her. He had every reason to believe so and he ran up breaking the mirage and through all the smoke figures of his head. Of all the people the college gave him, he was not willing to lose was one, the one he was most thankful for and the one he loved the most, Jenny and he had to see her.

He stood outside her class trying to catch his breath. It was 9:55 am. He knew a teacher usually takes at least 2 mins to replace another and that's all the time he wanted. It was his bad luck it was a double lecture and it was his good luck that the professor gave them a break of five minutes. He hated walking inside her class because of how people stared at her because of him. He didn't want to be blamed for the awkwardness. 

The moment the professor walked out he went close to the door asked Jenny to come out immediately. When she did, he asked her to follow him and started walking. She was scared by his fierceness and knew he wasn't asking. Well, it was true. He wasn't asking because he always got a 'no' and at that moment he was nervous because he was blank. He had no idea what he wanted to say but he knew he doesn't want to fight with her. He was sick and tired of every wrong in the relationship with this woman. He wasn't prepared for a 'no', he wasn't ready to leave her and he wasn't prepared for a goodbye. It almost felt like everything he ever wished for was right here and rather than taking a step ahead he was forced to take several steps away.