Classroom of the Elite:SS Collection

This warmness will remain a little longer(Ichinose Honami)

"I-I love you, Ayanokoji-kun!"

I don't know what was going through my mind at that moment but somehow those words flowed out of my lips ever so easily.

The same words that were stuck at my throat, that was stuck on my mind and heart; I had conveyed to him while still being caught in his powerful yet gentle arms.

I was overwhelmed by the warmth of his body and I felt my heartbeat beating in accordance with his heartbeat.

This might be the reason why those words escaped my lips.

I couldn't resist anymore. 

The feelings that I had tried to keep locked finally broke free and found their way to my lips.

I was still being held by him.

I slowly separated from him.

He was taken aback. 

He wouldn't have expected that someone would confess to him during this island exam, not to mention that someone would be me.

He was trying to find words to reply.

But I didn't want to hear his answer.

"It's alright, Ayanokoji-kun."

"Huh?"

He probably didn't understand what I was getting at.

"I don't want your answer right now.No, please never answer to my confession."

Ichinose, confessing your feelings to someone isn't an easy thing. You spend every day in anguish yet you still can't do it. The words I love you hang in your throat and you can't seem to force them out. Don't you think her earnest feelings should get an earnest reply, Ichinose?

I still remember those words he had said to me back then. Honestly, I was really impressed by what he had said.

And since he was the one who had said that, I knew he would reply in earnest to my feelings. But I didn't want to hear his response.

"I confessed to you just because I wanted to. I neither expect nor want a reply. Because no matter the answer............."

I trailed off.

I felt as if I was about to cry.

"Anyway, I have told what I had come to tell. Please be careful, Ayanokoji-kun."

I swiftly turned around began pacing away from him.

No sooner had I turned around, streaks of tear wetted my face.

I couldn't hold it any longer.

I didn't want to hear his response.

Because he would have made me cry no matter the answer.

If he had rejected me, I would have cried. If he had given a positive response then I knew I would cry again. Because we were from different classes. It was inevitable that we would end up as enemies in the future. So, there was no way we could let our personal feelings get in the way.

But wait. Even though he didn't give any response, he made me cry, didn't he? 

"Cruel."

I don't know whom I said that word in particular.

To Ayanokoji-kun, who had made me fall in love with him or to the fate that made us end up in different classes. 

I don't know.

More tears started flowing.

It might be the first time I had ever cried so much. Simply because it was the first time I had desired something so much, so badly than anything and anyone.

My brain was screaming that I should control myself and focus on the exam but my heart wasn't listening to me.

"Stop crying! Stop crying!"

The more I screamed those words within my head, the more tears started falling.

Slowly and slowly, I tried to control myself and convince myself.

"It's alright. It's fine this way."

I slowly wrapped my arms around myself and hugged me.

It was still there. The warmth of the person I love was still there.

It's alright. After all, if not anything, this warmness would still remain a little longer. And I will continue to struggle with this warmth that embraces me.