Taekook oneshots

EX-perienced

"Welcome back to Ask the EX-perienced, where we answer your questions regarding your exes! Woohoo" I said, hyped for this episode.

"I'm Kim Taehyung, an EX-perienced ex" I giggle.

"Even though he has dated only one person" I smacked my besties head.

"Oww! Why'd you do that!" He winces

"Chim! Don't! We're live! And let's just get started already" I roll my eyes.

"Ok. Wassup y'all! I'm Park Jimin. Your sexy, cutie, lovely EX-perienced ex"

"Are you serious right now?" I sigh as chim picks up one of the cards and starts reading it.

"This is from—" Chim gets cut off by the staff members.

"Jimin you can't say the person's name who sent the question" Eun woo hyung said.

"Ok Eun woo I'll not say the name" Chim and I both nod understandingly

"My partner has been texting their ex" He starts.

"Hold up! That's— never mind continue" The camera pans over to me then back to chim.

"They say that they're just friends but I don't know how to feel about it" Chim looks over to me.

"You know what? SLAM THE DOOR SHUT ON THEIR FACE!" I shouted making chim wheeze.

"I'm angry for her! Drop that boy off at McDonald's and say you lost your way back to him when you didn't!" I said as I leaned back as a king.

"Drop him like DONE!" Chim starts.

"Yaaasss DONE!" I use the same tone as chim used.

"I don't know why you're texting them for? I mean you're over them right? That's why you're with me! Am I not your future?! Am I not your love?! Why did you get with me when you had to go back to your ex!"

I say sarcastically while chim is struggling to stop laughing.

"Listen! No ex is a friend uh ah! " Chim says raising his index finger.

"Let me tell you something. They're ex for a reason" Chim completes his sentence.

"Like Hello! EXpired!!" I snap my fingers as I say that.

We both laugh and high five.

"No do you know what? I wouldn't even leave them because of that, I would leave them because they could even think that was ok. Texting your exes brings trust issues to a perfectly bonded relationship" A visible grin forms on chims lips as he looks at me.

"It's a lack of respect!!" I slam my hand on my thigh.

"The fact that you PICKED up your phone—"

"Exactly" Chims jumps in between.

"—then you UNLOCKED your phone, you OPENED the text and then you had the NERVE to TEXT that who—*bleep* and I mean! WHO DOES THAT!!" I lost my cool and then I just realized I sweared on camera, live.

"Oh god I just said who—*bleep* fu*bleep* again!!! Chim you continue please" I laughed.

"Boii you've got some swears up your sleeve" He snorted as I also bursted laughing.

"Ok so I can't even explain! That hands that'll be thrown!"

"Chairs and tables chimmy not hands! That's old now" I look at my nails sassily.

"Ok Mr. Sass" He snickers.

"And then the door which will be SLAMMED!"

"AND SHUT FOREVER!" I finished his sentence.