🍕I hate myself🍕
I don't sleep tonight.
It's too hard.
At 2:16AM, I sneak out of his arms.
I shift out into the living room and turn on the T.V.
I go to sit on the couch and jump backwards.
Roman lays, curled up in blankets.
He takes up the entire couch and I sigh.
I move to the kitchen and work to get myself something to eat.
I turn around with a glass of water and granola bar and jump.
"God Fucking dammit, Roman." I whisper harshly.
He sits up now, staring at me.
"Why aren't you with Dean?" He asks gently.
"I'm thirsty." I start, sipping out of the cup.
"No you're not." He almost laughs.
"Something's up. I could tell earlier. You're a bad actress." He smirks.
"Could you not?" I ask.
"C'mere, baby girl. Sit with Roman." He grins, patting a spot next to him.
I sigh and move over, sitting across from him Indian style.
"What's up?" He asks.
"Nothing. I don't even know why you called me over." I mumble, eating the bar.
"You're not stupid. You know that's not going to convince me to let you go." He almost giggles.
"Now, what's up?" He continues.
"None of your damn business." I rudely whisper.
"Ah, so something is wrong. We have that." He grins and I give him evil eyes.
"Boy troubles?" He asks.
"No." I grunt.
"So it is. Dean? Randy?" He asks.
"How the hell did you know about Randy?" I ask, raising my head in alarm.
"I notice a lot more than Dean and Seth do. You'll glance at him and shit. Something happened and you don't want us finding out." He whispers.
"No." I state simply.
"So what happened?" He asks.
"Nothing."
"C'mon. Just tell me. It'll be better. I swear." He says.
"No."
"Lilly." He starts, steering my head up and putting his hand on my shoulder.
"Just tell me everything and I'll help. You know I won't tell anyone." He looks me strait in the eyes and I have to look away, a tear slipping out of my eye.
"Baby girl." He whispers, wiping the tear off of my face with his thumb.
"I was drunk as shit and he was too and he danced with me when I went out with Paige and in the elevator he kissed me and now he thinks he's in love with me and won't leave me alone and Bray is telling me things I need to hear but don't want to and Dean's-" I hyperventilate, actively crying.
"Shh. Calm down. It's okay. Shh." He takes me head into his chest.
"What's Dean doing?" He asks.
"Bray says he's cheating." I whimper.
"Bray is a jackass that just wants you back. Dean wouldn't cheat on you. " He assures.
"I don't even know who the bad guys and the good guys are anymore." I sniffle.
"Neither do I." He whispers as he holds my neck into his chest.
I force myself away and look at my feet.
"It's a lot to handle. You were drunk. Dean's done a lot of crazy shit drunk, if you want to tell him about it I doubt he'd get mad. As for Bray, don't trust him. Dean would never cheat on you. Trust me. Okay?" He asks.
I nod and he shifts to look at the t.v.
"What do you want to watch?" He asks.
"Whatever you want to." I say, shifting to sit next to him.
We watch some cooking show for awhile.
"Roman?" I ask.
"Mhm?"
"Why were you sleeping on the couch?"
"I get pretty anxious."
"About what?"
"Safety."
"We have three massive wrestlers in here and amazing lock stuff. I doubt you have to worry about people robbing us."
"I still worry. Bray could get in here no problem. You know that." He says and I sigh.
"You could fight him off."
"I don't want to. I want you to feel safe. I want you to be safe." He says as he flips the channel.
Sleep soon overcomes me and I close my eyes, letting myself rest my head for the few hours left.
