🍕This chapter is as bright as my future🍕
Demand.
We immediately go to sleep.
The elegant room is now barren and lonely.
So lonely.
Everything is.
Everything doesn't feel like anything.
I've stopped feeling.
In real life.
Well, now it's a nightmare.
Just like my little world with Bray.
Dean tries to cuddle with me in bed and I accept, only allowing him to curl my hips towards his.
He holds me there and falls asleep while I fiddle with my hands.
I close my eyes trying to find some rest and I finally do.
🌚🌚🌚🌚🌚🌚🌚🌚🌚🌚🌚
He's gone when I wake up from my nightmares.
I lay, watching the side of the bed.
No feeling.
No nothing.
I'd be better dead.
This is like old times.
Seth steps in and sits on the bed next to me.
He runs his hand up my structure, stopping at my stomach.
He stoops to the side of the bed to look at my face.
I stay deathfully still and glare at him as he stares with his eyebrows raised high, eyes wide.
"So... What's up?" He asks.
I keep quiet and stare at him.
He moves himself to lay on his side next to me, staring once again.
"I've got all the time in the world, sweetheart." He says.
We continue to glare at each other.
"You're not helping." I mumble.
"Then how can I help?" He asks.
"You can't." I say.
"I was originally just here to give you your meds, alright. I want you to be okay. I want you to be happy. I know losing the baby is hard but you'll get through it. It's sadly a common, disastrous thing that happens to a lot of women. But they get back up and they try again." He says enthusiastically.
I cringe.
"At least there's more good sex in it for you." He laughs quietly, sliding off the bed while I close my eyes.
I inhale sharply as I hear him file pills out of the bottles.
"Here." He offers me them and I take them from his hand.
"Which are which?" I ask before he leaves.
"The smaller ones are antidepressants. The bigger ones are pain relief." He says.
I nod my head and he closes the door.
I quickly hide the antidepressants in the nightstand and take the pain killers quickly.
I'd rather be like this than addicted to a fake happiness.
I use to wonder if pain killers killed emotional pain.
Now I don't.
There is no need.
I don't have any emotional pain to be killed.
I don't have anything.
