🍕Woo Lel. If you guys don't remember, it is currently December 6th in the story and Deans B-day is December 7th🌚🍕
Resurrection.
I hide my pills again this morning.
I don't have the will to do anything anymore.
Who needs to get up and live when it all comes to death at the end of the day.
I'm not sad anymore.
I'm not happy.
I'm somewhere stuck in the middle.
The terrible middle ground and I can't feel a thing except being extremely uncomfortable and it continues to get worse.
A beam of light shines in from the door and I see Deans frame fill up the doorway.
He carries my phone and a speaker in his hands.
He puts the speaker next to my bed and plugs my phone in next to it.
He turns both on and puts music on.
"I'm low on gas and you need a jacket." Comes on.
"If we can't heal you, I know this will eventually." He whispers as he kissed my head and backs away.
I listen to song after song, watching as the music slowly gives me feelings.
I felt empty, but at certain parts of certain songs I get that feeling.
Like.
Ya know?
Where the lyrics are slow and meaningful, the instruments taking a break after the climax of the song.
Those make me feel.
I sit up on the bed and relax my head.
I reach for my phone and check the time.
It's 12:31 at night.
Holy shit, time goes fast.
I slowly get out of bed and change into a large sweatshirt and leggings.
I slide back in and close my eyes.
I slowly begin humming to songs and before I know it, I'm singing to my hearts content.
Dean steps in and smiles at me.
I stop singing and he comes close to me, sitting on the bed.
He pulls me up so I sit cross legged in front of him.
He carries a wet washcloth and a dry one.
He rubs my face lightly, getting the grime and dirt off.
He washes my neck and torso as well.
He moves my hair to the back of me.
"Can I cut my hair?" I ask him.
"Of course. How long do you want it?" He asks.
I swipe my finger to the lower middle part of my back.
"That'd be gorgeous." He says.
"Can I dye it?" I ask.
"Sure. What color?" He asks.
"I don't know. Pink and blue and purple at the ends?" I question.
"I think it'd look beautiful." He says.
"I'm sorry." I say.
"Why?" He asks.
"All of this and so close to your birthday. You'd be better off without me." I say, fumbling with my fingers.
"No I wouldn't. I never would be able to do this without you. And if I weren't there you'd belong to Bray and that's not cool." He says.
I snort.
He takes my hands in his.
"I love you." I sense him looking at me.
"I love you too." I choke out, glancing up at his beautiful blue eyes.
"C'mere-" he says, wrapping his hands around me and pulling me into a hug.
"I know you've gone through too much and this doesn't help at all but we're going to be okay." He says.
And again, I feel.
I finally feel.
I cry into his chest and he rubs my back while I wail.
"Dean I'm finally feeling." I cry.
"Shhhh." He sniffs.
I clench my stomach as I cry once again, the pain being too much.
I breath in sharply and begin to hyperventilate.
"Shh. Get it out." He says.
I cry harder for hours until I sniffle up, as does he.
We dry our tears on the blanket and curl up against one another.
"I love you, Lilly." He whispers.
"I love you too." I whisper.
He closes his eyes and I brush my hand against his cheek.
"Happy birthday." I whisper and he grins, touching his lips against mine.
We close our eyes and fall asleep.
