Two hearts one wish 💚🔥-Greenflame

Stupid Destiny

"What's happening?" I asked Kai as he led me onto the main deck of the Destiny bounty. I instantly felt the change in temperature. It was quite cold. We were flying over snow covered mountains. The sun was shining brightly though, taking the edge of the cool temperature. 

"Oh nothing, just wanted to get outside." Kai laughed. "Figured we should get some fresh air." I wasn't convinced, but I was distracted by how cute Kai was when he laughed. The sunlight shining through his hair as we stood on the deck of the flying ship. 

He is so beautiful. 

Kai walked over and rested his arms on the deck railing, looking out across the mountains surrounding us. He turned his head to face me. "So, did you like the show?" he smiled. 

"Did I? Oh.. Yeah, yeah it was good." I muttered. I almost hadn't caught Kai's words, I was distracted by his beautiful smile. 

I'm so gay

"We should go back and finish it soon, I can't believe we both just fell asleep whilst watching it!" Kai laughed. "I just want to spend a moment up here letting this freezing cold air wake me up. I am so glad we have some time off, finally, the past few weeks have been crazy! Wu just DOESN'T seem to want to give us a break from helping clean up Stiixs." 

"Yeah." I agreed. "I'm surprised he gave us four days off, I was only expecting a weekend if we were lucky." I leaned over the railing also, about an arms length apart from Kai. We stood there in silence for a moment. The Destiny Bounty was cruising along at over 5000 feet. The snow covered mountains and valleys passed below. It was beautiful. Looking down, I got lost in thought. 

As we passed over the moutians jaggard peaks, I wondered what it would be like if I just jumped?

 My rational thinking kicked in and told me that would be crazy. 

Morro's voice crept into my head. 

" Weak, pathetic. " 

I felt disgusted. I hated myself, I was just a huge burden.

No no no stop this you can't think about this again now.

More voices continued to creep in.

Stupid, ugly, why can't you be better?

 My hand gripped the railing tightly to stop myself as my brain started to genuinely consider jumping, after all, I would not need to remember anything after that...

My thoughts were interrupted by Kai, I realized I had zoned out and forgotten he was beside me. 

"So uhhh, I wanted to ask...." Kai moved a little closer. "How are you going? Is everything okay? Cole said you seemed a bit out of it when you woke up."

"Oh no it's fine.. And I'm good. " I respond automatically, turning my attention to him. 

He can't have known I was just thinking of jumping right? 

"That's good, I ah… just.. I worry about you sometimes." His eyes shone with concern, making my heart flutter.

"Yeah I'm fine, and I have a therapy appointment tomorrow." I muttered.

"You know I'm always here if you need to talk about anything okay?" Kai said kindly.

"Yeah I know." I replied quietly.

I didn't want Kai to worry, all this time he had been here for me, He is the only one I've really let my guard down with. Sometimes I am able to talk about things but most of the time I don't cause I don't want to burden him with my troubles. If the others knew the things I had done.. I didn't want to imagine. I was so ashamed. Kai and the others know about some of the scars, like the ones on my wrist caused by the handcuffs and chains Morro made me wear. Everyone had seen them after Kai had saved me from drowning. It hadn't been too hard to pass them all off as from Morro. I think Kai had suspected something else was up, but he never asked me to explain and had taken my word for it when I told them the cuts and scars were just from the handcuffs.