Two hearts one wish 💚🔥-Greenflame

I Wish I Could Believe

TRIGGER WARNINGS AS USUAL. :))

LLOYD POV

I stormed into my room and sat down on my bed, clutching my head in my hands as it was overwhelmed with voices screaming at me.

What is wrong with you!? You are so stupid Lloyd!

I should have stopped to see if Kai was okay!

I hate her, I hate her so so much.

I wanted to stab myself, punch a wall.

Or just die….

"You are so weak. " A low voice from somewhere in my head chuckled. "You'll lose control again. And you'll kill someone. Just like you have before."

"That's not true!!" I muttered.

That was an accident... I never meant to..

The voice trickled back, like icy cold fingertips slithering down my spine.

"So, so weak. You have no self control. You'll even kill Kai one day. I know you better than you know yourself, I know what you are really like. "

I clenched my teeth as I rose to my feet, moving unsteadily to my clothes dresser, leaning down and opening the bottom drawer, rummaging for the knife.

Maybe I can stab myself until the voice goes away?

"That's right."  The voice whispered again. "Now you can go stab your mother, then Kai. Oh won't it be wonderful, seeing all that blood."

My heart was pounding in my chest as the room began to spin. No matter what I did, I couldn't get rid of his voice. It would always be there, taunting me, telling me to do terrible things…

I have to get rid of that knife before something bad happens..

I slammed the drawer shut again, leaving the knife where it was.

But his voice was always so persuasive...I didn't know how much longer I could resist...

"You really are a violent person, why even fight it? Kill them both, then yourself. But you won't, will you? You are pathetic!"

"Shut up!" I hissed, slamming both my hands into the front of my dresser abruptly. No no no! I want to kill you! Or me! Not my mother, Not Kai.

There was a clatter and then a crash. The picture I had framed on my dresser, the one of all my friends, had fallen, face down on the floor. I blinked. Suddenly wanting to cry.

Please don't be broken.

I reached for it, picking it up gingerly. It was definitely broken. The glass was shattered.

All I ever do is break things.

I slowly put it back on the top of my dresser, not wanting to look at it anymore. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, but I refused to let them fall.

I'm so tired of being careful, of trying to be perfect. The stupid, perfect green ninja..

What a joke..

I heard footsteps running to the doorway. Kai appeared, a bowl of soup in his hands, which he quickly placed on the bedside table.

"Lloyd? What happened? Are you okay? " he asked, his voice thick with concern, but it faded into the back of my mind as I stared at him, there was a red mark on his face where Misako had hit him. Rage bubbled up in my chest.