Satan School of Sophomores

Sex Talk: 2/9/15

10:12pm Monday, February 8

I feel slutty and bad and anxious.

Why?

Because I'm meeting up with Rob.

I'm very confused.

Virgin or not?
How far will I go?

Is smokey eye a good look for me?
Or is that dumb on brown eyes?

At least my boobs are always on fleek.
But my ass and thighs are punishing me.

I gained four pounds.
You cruel, cruel world.

Oops there's porn on my tumblr feed. How did this happen?

Anyways, I'm feeling odd.

I want people, humans, bears, and teenagers to understand me.
On the other end of the spectrum, I enjoy being misunderstood.

I also enjoy pancakes.

Shit. This is why I gained four pounds.

I enjoy only eating vegetables and grapefruits!

Scared to have sex, but also really want to, because why not add to the complexity of my world?

That weirdness when someone touches you, kisses you, intimate whatever, and you keep that smell with you for a while or that feeling and wallow in it. It's weird? You're soaking in someone else's body.

Am I stoned?
I was trying to make a good point, but I really lost it.

10:52pm
Lemme just go over how my parents did the sex talk:

*scene: trapped in car with dad on way to store*
Dad: So you're on the pill now. For regulating your period. That's it. You know, don't do "it."
Me: Yeah uh okay...

*scene: mom since I was ten years old*
Mom: Don't have sex! I mean, wait until you're 16! 18! 19! 20! You have to be in love! Don't do it until you're older! You're not old enough for sex! If you do, it's okay. I'll still love you. But, don't do it! Wait until you're 21!
Me: I'll do whoever and whatever I like.
*diva stomps out the door*

My parents are confusing as fuck, well, my mom sure is. Dad is pretty straightforward. It's been really cool how chill he is with me and Robin. I'm thinking, 'Who know dad would turn out to be the cool parent?' Mom thinks I'm a nympho (totally am not). My libido ranges from dirt clod in January to wildfire summer sex machine. It's fun times.