Satan School of Sophomores

Sexy in the City: 10/24/14

4:04pm Friday, October 24

You know what? I saw this sexy lace dress in Macy's. The sales lady said I should try it on, grabbed a medium. I put it on, and it did like a glove. Ever curve was emphasized, every imperfection was erased. But, I didn't buy it. Because, I didn't want to pay $50 for a dress that was maybe too sexy and $50 (cheap skate here knows it will be $25 in a few weeks). Plus, I have this feeling. I know what I want that dress for. If I buy that dress, I just know I'll have sex in it. I've already pictured the whole scenario. It's pretty vivid in my screwed up brain.

The dress is plain black. Covered in a circle-kind of lace, flared out after the waist. With a sheer skin-showing lace part underneath the bust, 3/4 sleeve. It just makes my boobs look ginormous and everything else tiny.

9pm

Help! I Hate Myself! a self-help book written & illustrated by yours truly. Just kidding. But, seriously, someone needs to write that book. I need some help. Trying on twenty-five pairs of Levi's & having zero fit AND look good is discouraging. I am NOT fat. I have these big muscular thighs like hell + skinny little calves + FLAT ass + small waist = frustration. Can anybody out there tell me what body type that is?!

Fuck pants. I'm sexier in a skirt or a dress anyways. Who are these ratchet jeans made for anyway? And WHY OH WHY do I look so damn bad in my pants? I'm not that awful, am I? And why do I ask so many questions?

One day I will make my own pants and never take them off. Unless I'm having sex in my favorite-future-black-dress. Très sexy.

I got inspired in the car, and I tried to paper-mâché my hand with no glue, just flour and water. Let's just say the results were less than satisfying.

My parents said it was ridiculous and made me cut it off and throw it away. Dad says he will get me proper glue tomorrow.

So no word from Kota these last two days. Feeling the love. Okay, not love, I am not even feeling the sex appeal. Come on, boy. Gimme that bod. Even though my bod is eXXXtra awful, he seems not to think so. It's my boobs and waist. They're very fantastic. Then my thighs be like: suck on our big, ugliness and stretch marks. Fuck. And my ass decided to never be yummy and round. Flatter than a watery pancake.

Stop being a hater. I have to tell myself that. I love myself!!

At least I got a few things shopping today, but let's not get into that. It's a tad boring to the outside world. I am sure you can guess there were no jeans purchased by Blair.

11:27pm

But staying in the city, only if for a night, made me remember why I love it. The lights, smells, pavement; it's inspiring. Especially at night, walking down town, those streets.

Thursday night my parents and I went to this really fancy, all-organic restaurant called Mizuna. It was DELICIOUS. I thought it was a little too high class for my casual sweater and pants, but the staff were really nice. Everything was so rich, and the portions were surprisingly large.

While I was eating trout crostini, Scarlet was getting higher than a kite all by her lonesome with only a pot brownie. Hayley gave it to her at school, because Scarlet was jealous that Hayley and I had gotten high and she hadn't ever. Scarlet is funny when she's high, her snap chats were great. All I gotta say.