Satan School of Sophomores

The Empire State's Got Nothing on Me: 10/28/14

5:56pm Tuesday, October 28

I refuse to ever do drugs of any kind ever again.

Let me start from the start. It's my fifteenth birthday, and in honor of this, my friends spoiled me with great gifts, food, and awesomeness. We even had a pizza for lunch (delivered to the school by Mom, thanks Mom) + Olive made blueberry muffins and lit a candle in the bathroom for me to blow out! Then she threw it in the trash for fear of setting off the smoke alarms. Haha. And Hayley brought pot brownies! Yay!

At 12:45, my friends, Hayley, Scarlet, and I go to the upstairs of the school. Hayley says two bites equals the perfect buzz. We each ingest two bites of pot brownie. I feel giddy and excited, but soon forget once I get to Mrs. A's class for fifth period biology. Not until later did I realize, two bites is different for different people.

By 1:35pm, it HIT ME. HARD. Everything made me smile, and the walls of the room begin to smear down like the words that leave a path behind them in 80s video games. Or that app game, Nyan Cat: Lost in Space; the cat leaves a trail behind. Well, that's how the whole room felt. Like it was melting and leaving a trail. I thought, "I'm trippin. And isn't everything so lovely? I better go find Hayley or Scarlet."
I shot down the hallway out of science class like a rocket ship. All the kids moving around me moved in a strange, choppy motion.

I found Scarlet somehow in the upstairs bathroom. She thought I was joking at first, because I was being that ridiculous. I was laughing my head off, talking nonsense, smiling. But, once she realized I wasn't joking, her eyes became wide and scared. She shook my shoulders and kept begging me to shut up. I was nonstop blathering.

I suppose I shot out of the bathroom, then I latched onto this popular girl, Elizabeth. She took me down the stairs, and when I spotted the open door to the home ec classroom, I ran in. I asked her to drive me home, but she just left without me. I was giving every person I saw a compliment, I just loved everyone!! My plan was to find Kota. Once I had him in my sights, I couldn't stop talking.
"You're so fucking hot." I stood in front of his table.
"What?" Kota stood up too (because the class was leaving to go to the library).
"Don't you know how long I've wanted to kiss you, I'd kiss you but, my mouth feels weird!!" I semi-yelled and stuck my tongue out of my mouth.

I'm not positive what else I said, but I know at one point I grabbed Kota's hand and kiss up his arm a little, then I put my hand on his chest and told him he felt better in person. I started telling him and his friends they were all so hot and had great shoe-style. I turned to his blonde best friend and said, "You know what we nicknamed you? Californian beach boy."
Then I flipped his hat off his head and started fingering (it's the only appropriate word for my horny-stoner attitude) his hair.
"You are so hot, and you have great hair, Isaiah. You are all so hot!!"
"You need to get to class, Blair," said Kota.
"But Mr. C will know I'm high. He will look in my eyes and see my impurities!!!" I crazy-yelled.
"Just calm down..."

Then I grabbed my boobs and kept asking Kota to take me somewhere to run in the rain. His expression was shock, horror, amused, and an undertone of relief the whole time I talked.
Finally, Scarlet found me, and she dragged me away from the library, covering my mouth. Off to the downstairs bathroom. I could definitely not walk straight, my mouth felt drier than bones, and my mind was moving slow. Everything I said felt like I was hearing it twice.

Scarlet gathered up my belongings, took my phone and texted my dad I would meet him in the parking lot, she was my lifeline. I probably would've ended up in HUGE trouble if not for her.

I owe everything to my best friend. That's fucking true friendship.

My dad knew immediately I was high when Scarlet pushed me into the truck passenger seat with my dad. She mumbled, "I think she's feeling sick. Blair doesn't want to talk."
I looked down and tried to keep my composure, but by the time my dad got outside of town, I admitted I was stoned. He said, "I knew it. And I'm just glad you told me. You still have to open your birthday gifts with Mom when we get home."
I agreed and went on to chatter and be crazy the rest of the half hour ride home.

Mom was a little worried about my state, but soon both my parents were laughing at me while I acted spastic in the living room.