Satan School of Sophomores

Jealous, Angry Ghosts: 1/24/15

1:42am Saturday, January 24

I can feel the energy of ghosts all around me, alive and dead. At home and school and elsewhere.

9:36am
I'm really in a Pokémon-watching mood today. And some other cartoons. I'm going to curl up on the couch with a raspberry milkshake and laugh at animated characters. Zero fucks to give.

9:46am
I used to listen to a bit of All Time Low, but I don't know now. Maybe I should get on that band wagon again. GET IT?! BAND WAGON?!

My butt feels smooth.

I wish I wasn't such a wimp. Dammit. I don't know what to do.

I'm fifteen and feeling fretful.
Will I ever have a real relationship? Is every guy going to be yet another game? I want something more that I don't have.

I've never had this many relationship problems.

But, my mom and I are getting along swimmingly, so that's the most important thing. She's acting like the mom she used to be, and there's nothing better.

My friends may change, the guy I like is sure to change, but at least I've got my mom. And my cat. And my books.

I hope Rob likes that book. He makes my stomach flop every time he smiles at me. Oh god.

Kasen at school flips out, because he grabs his chest like a boob then I do it back with my own boob. He's been telling Hayley, "Blair used to be a good girl, but now she's a bad girl." Calm the hell down.

I think some guys at school are talking about me not-so-nicely. Like, what, I'm a slut?
The girl who has never even French kissed let alone sex, is a slut?
High school.
A lovely place.

I Need to Buy
•red plaid skirt
•black skater skirt
•black, long-sleeve crop top

11:12am
At least if I was a spirit of the underworld I wouldn't have to worry about college.

12:29pm
You know what? I'm not going to look weak and stupid and cry.

I am strong.
I show no emotion.

I don't care if R wants me or not. I've got plenty of other guys I could fuck. What's the difference? It's not like he cares anymore than they do, so I won't worry.

I don't like him that much anyway.
He's kind of annoying.
Always singing and talking and other dumb stuff.

I'm better alone.

11:58pm
Jealous. That's me. Jealous of everybody. I want the guy I like to be all over me all the time, but I guess if he was I'd get bored.