Satan School of Sophomores

Sex on TV: 9/30/14

9:11pm Tuesday, September 30

I am breaking out everywhere. On my face. And I think my dad is watching my New Girl in the next room because it's recording, but I can't stop him, because then he will think something is up, and then he will delete my show. He doesn't know how to watch a DVR when something is recording, so he just tends to delete whatever is live recording so he can watch food network.

My parents act like I don't know what sex is. What's going to happen when I do have sex? Are they going to still treat me like a little bitch or let me see all the sex shit on TV I want? Or like what? I am NOT telling my parents when I start fucking. That is between me and me and me and the bastard who I bang. My parents will NEVER know who I screw. Until I'm old and awful.

My parents have a big problem with me watching shows such as: New Girl, Virgin Territory (maybe slightly understandable), You're The Worst, and Married. I can't help I like those shows!! But, it's not all their fault, i find it awkward when they see me watching such adult shows. Speaking of awkward, I like Awkward, don't forget, teen sex freaks them out. Get over it parents, teenagers are having sex. I know, both my parents were screwing as teenagers. I doubt I'll follow suit, I don't have the confidence or any hot boy toy. But, really, they should not care so much as long as their teenager isn't having sex.

And ever since the cancer, my mom is a religious NUT CASE. Every time I have a problem and go to her for advice she says to pray or meditate. All I want to do is rant. Not pray to a God I don't really believe in. From what I've seen in this world it's hard to say that Christ exists. I don't want to pray, unless I'm desperate and truly lost, and I have no other strategies left. But, I think she is more herself than she was three months ago. Imagine dealing with a mom that's not the mom you used to know. It is quite impossible to be comfortable with.

And can I imagine the day when I am out of high school and am free to wear the clothes I want? Crop tops, lace up boots, skirts of any length, thigh high socks. Not all at once, I'm not a crazy slut, but I like to work those items into my outfits. Sometimes I put a really lovely outfit together, only to realize I can't wear it to school because of our biased & sexist dress code. I feel as though the dress code says: GIRLS: Boys in American society are not taught to control their sexual urges, so could you please cover up so they won't be tempted? Because it's your own fault if you get raped for showing some shoulder blade or having your skirt a half inch above finger tips. Boys will be boys and girls will be toys! BOYS: We really have no clothing rules for you, but we have to make it look like we have rules for both genders so that this dress code appears at least halfway equal. Be as disgustingly aggressive as you want, and please, be controlling & never use your manners. That's girly! We don't want our boys to look girly. But if a girl ever tries to give you direction, call her a bossy whore bitch.

I will never change for a guy. That is bullshit. I refuse to be nicer. I refuse to relent, to be weak. I refuse to wear low cut shirts and talk in a high voice with a pre assessed laugh. I snort when I laugh really hard, I wear to shirts up to my collar bones a lot, and I will tell you to fuck off if you think I'd have sex with you. No. Not unless you're... I can't even think of anyone. I would have sex with zero people in this world as of today.