One Single Memory

Kabanata 25

Buwan ang lumipas matapos ang insedenteng 'yon at kahit papaano nakaka-recover na ako sa mga nangyari. It's a big thing that my family supports me even my friends who almost wanted to kill those bastards. Nakakulong na ang ilan sa kanila habang dinidinig ang kaso. Whereas those minors were now in the hands of DSWD. 'Yung iba na gaya nina Dale at Andre ay hindi pa mahagilap. Tumakas daw ang mga ito pagkatapos marinig ang nangyari sa mga kasamahan.

I don't know what to feel towards my friends who I trusted that night. Though I wasn't sure if they were allies, I'm still mad. I feel hurt. Because if they were really innocent, why would they run away and hide? That only means they're guilty.

Hiningan din ako ng pahayag tungkol sa mga nangyari pero dahil wala akong masiyadong maaalala, hindi na nila ako pinilit. I only told what I remember and that supported Priam and Cassie's statement when they found me almost naked around numbers of men. I was so regretful but what can I do? It has been done. Wala na akong magagawa.

"Zosia, nasa sala si Priam. May ibibigay daw siya." Kumatok si mommy sa kwarto ko isang araw.

Napabaling ako sa pintuan. Kinalas ko ang pagkakayakap sa mga tuhod ko at bumaba ng kama. I've been like this the whole time. Nagkukulong ako sa kwarto. Binuksan ko ang pintuan at tumambad si mommy.

"Sige na. Kausapin mo na." She smiled gently at me.

Since that incident, we still haven't talked. Nahihiya kasi ako sa kanya. I don't know but I feel ashamed of myself. It seems like half of my dignity has been disgraced.

Bumaba ako ng hagdan at namataan nga siyang nakaupo doon. Alangangin pa akong lumapit pero nang malingunan niya ako ay ngumiti siya nang bahagya.

"How have you been?" He stood up and fixed the hem of his shirt.

Tipid akong ngumiti at iminuwestra ang sofa. Bumalik naman siya sa pagkakaupo at tinabihan ko siya.

"Mabuti naman."

Honestly, I don't know how to interact with him now. He has seen the worst of me and it was the most shameful for me. Parang bigla akong hindi naging komportable.

Nanatili ang titig niya sa akin bago marahang ngumisi at may kinuha sa bag niya.

"I have here Cassie's notes. Ako na ang nagdala since may exhibit siyang pupuntahan." He handed me her notes.

Tinignan ko 'yon at kinuha.

"Thank you," nahihiyang saad ko.

Hindi na kasi ako pumapasok sa school dahil nahihiya ako. However, the school management understood my situation. I decided to stop then but Cassie and Priam didn't allow me. Ang sabi nila tutulungan nila akong makahabol. At ito ang dahilan kung bakit nandirito sila palagi. Though I'm ashamed of that, lalo na kay Priam na graduating na, they still assured me I'll graduate.

"Thank you for this but you should have sent it through your driver or what. Hindi mo na naman kailangan pumunta rito, Priam. Graduating ka na at...alam kong busy ka." Sumulyap ako sa kanya.

"Do you think coming here makes me fail to graduate? Wala ka yatang bilib sa akin." He chuckled and started arranging my things.

Ngumuso ako at mas lalo siyang tinitigan.

"Kayabangan," bulong ko.

Ngumisi pa siya lalo at ginulo gulo ang buhok ko.

"I'm not hitting on you but...do you want a milktea after this?" he asked playfully.

I chuckled and just looked at him amusingly. I don't know that I can feel uneasy and comfortable at the same time whenever I'm with him. P'wede pala iyong maramdaman.