Fluffy SKZ oneshots🧸

But it's dark🧸

Sickie: Jisung

Caregiver: Changbin

Requested by: 

Changbin's POV.:
3racha had been in the studio all day. We were working on a new album and I really felt like things were going well. I was really inspired and my notebook was filling with new scribbles of potential lyrics fast. Chan was absorbed by his laptop screen. He hadn't even taken his headphones of in the last hour and I couldn't wait till he'd play the new track over the speakers for all of us to hear. Jisung seemed to be in his own world. One minute, he was furiously scribbling down lyrics, the other, he'd stare blankly at a spot on the wall before picking up his pencil and continuing. It was already past midnight and I couldn't remember how many hours we've been here but there was no going home at the moment. We were being productive and full of ideas that we were afraid of forgetting if we didn't immediately put them to use. The times that Jisung spaced out just staring ahead came more frequently and they lasted longer, the longer we were here. I could sense that he was getting tired and who could blame him? I was tired too and I was pretty sure Chan was too, though he wouldn't show it. There was no way of taking Chan home before two in the morning anyways. We were just happy if he didn't work till five.

It was nearing one in the morning and I was starting to run out of ideas. I had everything written down and was to tired to come up with anything else. Jisung had been studying the desk in front of him for the past fifteen minutes without moving an inch. It looked kind of creepy and if I didn't know for sure that Jisung didn't sleep with his eyes open, I'd think he was asleep with how far his mind had wondered from his body. Chan had noticed too and nudged me, whispering: "It's okay if the two of you want to go home. You look like you're done and you're tired. For Jisung, he might be asleep as we speak. Please take him home, Binnie. I'm just going to stay another one or two hours before heading back myself." I sighed deeply. Yes, I'd gladly go home now and I also think Jisung should be at home and in bed. I just wished Chan would come home with us instead of overworking himself again. Knowing I'd just start a fight if I tried to convince my hyung, I agreed and went to pull Jisung out of my thoughts. I felt a bit guilty looking at my dongsaeng. He must be exhausted with how out of it he was and we always kept him here till late into the night, not considering his young age at all. I lightly tapped his arm, hoping to not startle him, but I got no reaction. "Sung, hey. Let's go home, hm?", I called out, shaking him a bit. He startled a bit but looked up at me dazedly, nodding. We bid our goodbyes to Chan before putting our coats on and leaving the studio.

We spent the walk back to the dorm in silence, both being to tired to really make conversation. The silence wasn't uncomfortable though, to me it felt relaxing as the cool night air blew the hair out of my face and cleared my head. The dorm was completely dark when we entered, a clear indicator that everyone else was already asleep. Trying to be as quiet as we could, we took off our shoes and washed up. Then we told each other 'good night' before heading to our respective rooms. Stretching out on my bed, my muscles finally relaxed and only then did I notice how tired I really was. I was seconds away from sleep when I heard footsteps somewhere else in the dorm. Figuring it was just one of the members using the bathroom, I decided to just wait till there would be silence once again. The steps just never stopped like one should think they would once a person reached their destination. The sound just continued, lasting for almost five minutes before it was really starting to bother me. I peeled myself out of bed and went to check out the source of the noise.

What I didn't expect when I shuffled to the living room, was Jisung pacing circles around the living room. We all knew that the younger would sleepwalk from time to time, so I wasn't too confused. I once heard that you shouldn't wake someone who's sleepwalking, so I decided to just guide him back to bed. Approaching him quietly, I put a hand against Jisung's arm. He flinched, scrambling away from me. I stood there frozen in shock, never had he had that extreme of a reaction when we caught him sleep walking. Jisung had curled into himself with his back against the couch, shielding his face with his arms. "Hey, you're okay. Sorry for scaring you, Sungie", I whispered, crouching in front of him. Reaching out a hand to touch his arm, I noticed how badly he was shaking and I had to realize: "You're not sleepwalking." I lowered his arms and quickly shook his head. "I-I'm sorry. I tried to – I – no matter how hard, I mean – I couldn't sleep", he stuttered, not really finding the words to explain what was going on. I gave him an understanding smile, promising: "That's okay. Do you want to go back to bed? I know you're tired." His eyes widened and he quickly shook his head. "Why? What's wrong, Sung?", I frowned worriedly. Jisung took a shaky breath before trying to explain again: "If I lay down again, it'll be worse – I think too much when I try to sleep, there are too many thoughts, too fast." – "I see, do you want to tell me what they're about?", I asked carefully.

Seeing how quickly his eyes filled with tears, I figured he wasn't ready to talk about it just yet, so I got up and offered him a hand. "Let's go for a walk", I decided, pulling Jisung to his feet. I looked at me confused, not really sure whether I was serious, asking: "But it's dark, hyung?" – "You wouldn't be able to see the stars if it wasn't", I replied with a small smile and handed him his coat. Then I put on my own and guided Jisung out of the building towards a park I had stumbled across not too long. He was still confused but followed my lead till we reached a small bench. I sat down and Jisung took a seat next to me, drawing his legs up to his chest. "You know, we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. You can just take a few deep breaths and look at the sky for a bit. I always feel like I can see things clearer after I do. Just know, I'm here if you need me", I hummed, tilting my head back. I was glad it was a clear night and there were actually stars visible, which was pretty rare in a city like Seoul where the lights never turn off. We sat for a while, each absorbed in our own thoughts, when Jisung's voice cut through the silence: "Hyung, are we really doing enough? Is our music good enough? I know yours and Chan-hyung's is but am I really doing well enough to team up with you? I don't know why I'm still doing this. Yeah, making music brings me joy but I can't help but feel like I'm not giving people what they deserve. They deserve better music than I could ever make, so why should I keep doing it."

I was stunned. I thought he had felt as productive and proud of himself like I had earlier. It seemed like I was wrong. "What are you talking about?", I whispered, "Your music is great and your lyrics are deep and meaningful. People deserve words that they can relate to and that's exactly what you are giving them." He looked at me doubtfully, convinced I was just saying this to make him feel better. "You know, finding happiness in something is enough of a reason to be doing it. You don't owe anyone anything but instead give to them, asking for nothing in return. I feel honored that you like my music but how do you think I could find inspiration if it wasn't for all the times I hang around you and Chan, talking deeply about our feelings and trying to put them into words. I would be nothing without 3racha. You guys taught me how to express myself, you see, I learned from you", I explained looking into him in the eyes, "Jisung, you are so young but your words are deep and meaningful. There is only one thing really that qualifies music as good: it has to come from the heart and yours does."

He nodded, avoiding my eyes and I saw a tear glistening in the moonlight. I finally dared to pull him into a hug and he immediately broke down into tears. Seeing his facade crumble, I tightened my hold on him and let him cry into my shoulder. Jisung's hands tightened on the fabric of my shirt and I reassuringly squeezed his shoulder in return. There were no other words needed for now, I just wanted my dongsaeng to get those feelings off of his chest and if that meant sitting here the entire night, letting him cry them away, then that's what I'd do. It didn't take the entire night, only about half an hour, for his sobs to quieten down. His breath was still hitching from time to time but it seemed like he was tired out now. I mean who could blame him considering how long we had been awake. Lifting his head off of my shoulder, I used my sleeve to dry off his puffy cheeks, giving them a peck afterwards. Jisung sniffled lightly in return before cuddling into me again. I smiled but had to pull away and giggled: "As much as I love cuddles, Sung, let's go home. We can continue cuddling on the couch. I understand if you don't want to go to bed, so we can just cuddle a bit while listening to music. I'll even make us some hot cocoa, so we can get all comfy, yeah?" He nodded and we locked our arms, starting to walk home.

We slowly made our way back and after kicking my shoes off, I shuffled into the kitchen to make two cups of cocoa. Jisung went to our rooms to collect our favorite blankets and put them on the couch before going to the bathroom to wash his face. I startled a bit when I felt arms wrapping themselves around my waist from behind but giggled when Jisung placed his chin onto my shoulder. "Sung, you can't scare me like this", I scolded jokingly and he giggled lightly. Feeling my heart swell at the sound, I turned around in his arms and ruffled his hair fondly. I turned back to pour our drinks into cups but stopped, hearing Jisung whisper shyly: "Thank you for being there, hyung. Everything was just getting too much." I turned to hug him and pecked his chubby cheek. "Of course, I am. I always will be there. You just need to come and find me. It gets too much for all of us at some point, you just need to remember to not keep it to yourself, okay?", I whispered. He nodded into my chest and tightened his arms around my waist. I quietly reminded him to get comfortable on the couch and that I'd be joining him in a second. I poured out drink into two cups before following Jisung to the living room. Handing him his cup, I got settled under my blanket and waited for him to turn on his playlist. He did before he rested his head on my shoulder. It was a comfortable atmosphere and I felt the tension slowly leave his body. By the time we finished our cocoa, Jisung had ended up with his head in my lap and I couldn't stop myself from running my fingers through his soft hair, smiling when his eyes fluttered shut.