i forgot

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"You got a package Auntie Amelia." Zola smiled handing the thick envelope to her aunt.

"What is it?" Amelia asked as she tried to locate where the leak was coming from under the sink. Zola situated herself on the island chair, and opened the envelope which contained other envelopes.

"Who's Gideon and LuLu and-" Amelia ripped the envelopes out of Zola's hands before she could read more. "Who are those people?"

"Hey babe, I was going to go to the hospital." Link smiled as he walked into the kitchen grabbing his bag.

"So do you have to? Were you called in?" Amelia tightly held the envelopes to her chest willing herself not to cry.

"I wasn't called in but they could use the extra hands, I can stay though are you okay?" He asked suddenly realizing his girlfriend seemed upset.

"Stay." Amelia sighed, walking up the stairs into her bedroom.

"What's her deal?" Link asked bewildered.

"I don't know, she got a package with a bunch of letters and she got all weird."

"Huh" Link sighed trying to figure out what was upsetting his girlfriend.

_______________________________________

"Where's auntie Amelia?" Ellis asked as she walked into the backyard where her uncle and brother were playing catch.

"She's in her room." Link answered as he launched the ball to his nephew.

"I knocked on her door but she didn't answer, and I tried opening the door and it wouldn't open." Link turned around worry plastering over his face, looking up at the window to their room.

"I'll go check on her." The ortho surgeon threw his baseball mitt down and walked into the house, the two kids following behind him. Once they got to the bedroom door and he knocked cautiously. "Amelia?" No response came from the door so he jimmied the door handle but to no avail. "Why don't you two go watch some tv with Zola?" The kids reluctantly obliged, and Link grabbed the key from the top of the doorway and opened it. He opened the door to see his girlfriend was sprawled across the bed with letters spread around her, he smiled when he realized she was just sleeping. He walked over and cleared the letters before tucking her in, when he realized her tear stained face.

"Hmm." Amelia moaned softly at the touch of her boyfriend. "What time is it?"

"Almost 4 in the afternoon, I was gonna make dinner soon."

"I thought you were going to the hospital." Amelia said with tiredness in her voice.

"You've been up here all day." Link chuckled, moving a piece of her hair from her face. "Someone had to watch the kids."

"Oh yeah, right. I'm sorry I'm just tired."

"Are you okay?" Link sat on the bed, holding her calf.

"Yeah." Amelia sighed, stretching out a bit.

"No your not, what going on?"

"I forgot." Amelia squeaked out, trying to keep herself calm.

"Forgot? Forgot what?"

"His birthday. It's Christopher's birthday today, and I forgot. What kind of fucking mother am I?"

"If it makes you feel better you forgot my birthday." Link chuckled trying to lighten the mood.

"No it doesn't make me feel better it makes me feel worse." She turned around so her face was in her pillow.

"Amelia, we're in the middle of a pandemic, your allowed to forget things."

"Not this."

"Amelia he's not the first thing in your mind anymore. You have Scout and now three other kids who need us."

"Your saying Scout replaced Christopher?" Amelia turned around to look at her boyfriend accusingly.

"No that came out wrong." Link sighed, rubbing his hand in a soothing manner on her leg.

"Get out Link, I can't do this, not right now."

"Amelia let me help you."

"Get. Out." She sat up to glare at him. Link huffed and begrudgingly left the room.

"Just don't lock the door." He pleaded before closing the door.

"I'll do whatever the hell I want to do." Amelia yelled, tears springing in the sides of her eyes.

"Is Auntie Amelia up?" Zola asked as she walked into the hallway after hearing the commotion, to see her uncle with his head leaning against the door.

"No, Zozo."

"Is she okay? She seemed sad earlier."

"She'll be okay let's just leave her be for a bit."

"Okay." Zola nodded walking back into her room, leaving link alone with his thoughts. He hated the person he was becoming, he knew how much grief Amelia held with the loss of her firstborn and he wasn't helping the situation.
________________________________________

The three kids had been fed and Link gave Scout a prepumped bottle, and after only a little fighting he got everyone to bed. He looked at their bedroom door before hesitantly opening it, expecting his girlfriend to be asleep but found her reading a letter.

"You okay?" Link whispered as he quietly closed the door.

"Sorry for being awol." Amelia sighed rubbing her finger over the notebook paper.

"No don't apologize. I was an absolute jerk, the things I said. I'm sorry this day must be so painful for you, I can't even imagine."

"I just can't believe I forgot."

"I know. We're living in a pandemic as you said, everything's insane. We're lucky if we remember to put on pants in the morning." Link maneuvered himself so he was laying next to her, and wrapped her in his arms. "I'm so so sorry, Amelia." The sad neurosurgeon nodded and handed him one of the letters.

"At least a little good came out of it for other people." Amelia showed him each of the letters explaining them. "I used to hate getting these, I'd always be so jealous that these people got to watch their kids grow up and love them. But over the years it feels nice, it feels like it was worth it."

"You did a really good thing. A lot of people wouldn't of been able to do what you did. And look at all the families you saved and all the love they get to have."

"Do you think I'm a bad mother?"

"Not at all. You did good by your son, you did the best thing you could've done in that hell of a situation. And your the best mom to Scout and you've amazingly fallen into a mother role for those three kids. They are all so so so lucky to have you, and I can't even express how lucky I am."

"I love you." Amelia whispered before straddling her boyfriend and kissing him to erase her thoughts.

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