trigger warning// postpartum depression and hopelessness
"I'll get him." Link groaned as he sat up in bed to tend to their baby's cries. Amelia only nodded and continued to look up at the ceiling. She couldn't sleep, she hadn't slept in days. She couldn't seem to shut her mind off. Anything literally anything could happen to her baby, and the thought paralyzed her. After a couple of minutes Link sleepily walked back into their room and crawled into bed next to her. He draped an arm across her which she pushed off, and climbed out of bed. "Hey, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm just gonna go check on Scout."
"I just did. He's fine go back to bed." Link groggily said.
"I'll just get some water then." Amelia said as she softly closed their bedroom door. She stopped at their sons door and quietly opened it. To her surprise her son was still awake, and kicking his legs absentmindedly in his crib. She watched him in his innocent state and couldn't help but beat herself up, she'd been a mother for three weeks and already felt like she was failing him.
"I'm so sorry little guy. You deserve so much better. You have an amazing dad though. Probably the best." The boys mother apologized. She then turned around and left the room leaving the door opened a crack. She knew she couldn't go back to sleep so she grabbed her keys and a coat and shoved her feet into some shoes without caring to properly put them on. She wasn't quite sure what her plan was. It was rather cold out even though it was nearing the summer months. Links apartment building was located in a rather busy part of the city. There were always a lot of college aged kids around getting themselves into trouble. She missed that when she was in college, she couldn't drink or experiment with drugs because by that point she was a recovering addict, she wished she could go back. Never accept that pill from a friend, never of went to work with her father that one day, never crashed her brothers car, but all of this was set in stone. How was she expected to mother a child if she was so immature herself.
As she mindlessly walked the city she realized mostly everywhere was closed, so it must of been really late. She hadn't thought to bring her phone or check the time before she left Links apartment. The only place that seemed to be open was a small run down bar at the end of a street. Every fiber of her being was telling her to not go in there. Not break her sobriety. Not be at day one yet again. Not be a failure as a mother, but she went in anyway.
"Hey, what can I getca?" The older gentleman working the bar greeted.
"Umm." Amelia hesitated, she hadn't thought about what she was going to order. She hadn't thought about anything for that matter, it was the first time in three weeks where she wasn't worrying about her baby. "Do you have a phone?"
"Yes ma'am on that wall over there, it may be a little staticky but should do the trick."
"Thanks." Amelia made her way over to the old pay phone, and sat on the chair set up next to it. She felt as though she went back in time and was in a run down old fashioned bar in New York. She shoved her hands into the pocket of the coat she was wearing and quickly realized it wasn't her own, but her boyfriends. She took out some gum wrappers, receipts, and some old change (which she was looking for), but felt a small velvet box in addition. She quietly gasped when she realized what it was. She carefully opened the ring box, and observed the ring inside of it. It reminded her of her mother's wedding ring. She quickly closed the box and shoved it back into the coats pocket. Her boyfriend really needed to find some better hiding spots. Then she shifted through the change and counted out 25 cents. She had an important phone call to make.
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"Amelia?" Link groggily called out. He sat up in their bed to find that his girlfriend wasn't beside him. He looked over to her nightstand and saw her phone still attached to the charger. So she must of been checking in on the baby, she practically took her phone everywhere even if she was just going to the kitchen. He decided to go into his sons room to see Amelia and Scout together, it was his favorite sight. But to his surprise the baby was fast asleep, and there was no Amelia in sight.
