I Broke Her

24

Bridie.

Hitting eleven fifty. I walked back up to the house. John will be here shortly.
Walking into the house the place was quiet. I'm guessing everyone had left. I was glad maddox spoke with me today on his own. I just felt trapped with everyone around. I have got used to callan, angelic and dannon
But new people around it frightens me.
"Bridie" "hi dannon, did everyone leave?" "Yes" I nodded "I'm just going to wait for John to get here" "are you feeling okay?" "Anxious" "I can understand that" I nodded "what are you doing?" "I was just going to come out and get you, I know John will be here in a few minutes" "thankyou but I have my watch" "I just wasn't sure if your mind was elsewhere" "no I was just watching the water" dannon grinned then wrapped his arms around me.
"Feeling better now everyone has gone?" "More calm" "good and Im sorry" "it's alright" "no putting you in that position this morning, I hoped you could handle it but I know you arent ready for that" "thank you".

Hearing the door bell go off, dannon pulled away. "I'm guessing that's john" I nodded "I better go get it" "if you need anything tell me" "I will".

"Hi John" "hi Bridie can I come in?" "Yes" john walked in and I closed the door.
"Same room?" "Yes that is fine".
Moving to the room, I closed the door and sat down john doing the same.
"How have you been feeling in the last couple of days?" "The same maybe a little better" "let's talk about the little better part first. You said maybe?" "Yes I have been more comfortable around the three people in this house. I don't feel so fearful and not so trapped" "that's good progress" I nodded "what about the rest of the two days?" "Well I had a nap after you left and woke up screaming because of a night terror" "the same one?" "Yes" "how did that make you feel?" "It felt real. I felt petrified until I realized it wasnt" "okay then what happened?" "I slept the rest of the night. When I woke up the next day the house was full of men" "how many?" "Ahh I don't know, they all work for the people here" "okay and that made you feel?" "Frightened because in my mind they all want to hurt me. trapped because there were so many of them" john nodded "that's normal Bridie. this will take time" "I know I just can't block it out" "don't block it out" I looked at john "but I need to, to move forward" "no you need to take control of it. if you block it out, it's always going to be there" "I don't know how to control it" "one-step at a time" I nodded. "How long did they stay?" "Until this morning" "and what did you do?" "I avoided then as much as I could spending time at the pond" "did you spend much time there in the last two days?" "Yes quite a few hours both days" "did it calm you?" "Yes" "what calmed you about it?" "It's peaceful, quiet. Watching the water slightly move to the breeze and hearing the birds"
"You watch the water move?" "Yes" "and does anything run through your mind when that happens?" "No" "okay, do you have a bath or spa here?" "Yes I have a spa bath in my bathroom" "use that as a technique as well. Just sit in the bath and watch the water even if you have the jets on. Your mind needs to rest and it seems the water helps you" I nodded "okay I can do that".
"What else has happened?" "I spoke with an old friend" "what's his or her name?" "Maddox" john had a small grin on his face "maddox is an old friend?" "Yes more like family" "were you two close?" "Yes up until six years ago then I hadn't seen him until yesterday" "did you speak to him yesterday?" "No he was with everyone else" "but you spoke with him today?" "Yes I was on the back patio and he came out on his own" "you felt comfortable?" "I'm okay with one on one conversations" "that's good. Were you happy you could speak to him?" "Yes it was like we had never stopped talking" "he can help you too" I nodded "just talk to him even if it's to reminisce about the past all the good times you had together" "okay".
"Has anything changed in the way that you feel about that day?" "No but I did find out something" "what did you find out?" "Dannon didn't leave me on the side of the road" "how did you get to the hospital?" "He took me. I asked him a couple of questions that were on my mind" "what were the questions?" "Why didn't he question me before hurting me" "what did he say?" "That he was blinded by anger" "that can happen" I nodded "and the second question?" "I asked what happened after he knocked me unconscious" "what was his answer?" "He broke. he untied me then cradled me in his arms apologising profusely before rushing me to the hospital" "dannon took you to the hospital?" "Yes" "he felt remorseful" "yes" "he still loves you, like you do him" I nodded "do you hate him in anyway?" "No but I.." I shook my head "but you what?" "I hate what he did because not only do I have these awful scars on my body I can't have children" "you are angry" "yes" "have you told him how you feel?" "To an extent. I told him, I hate seeing the scars. I am going to get a tattoo to cover the scar on my chest and my stomach" "why a tattoo?" "I want to cover them, a tattoo can be beautiful" "you don't feel beautiful?" "No" "and you think it will help" "yes, if I cover them then I cant see them" "then do it" "I am. I have already gone to see a tattooist he is drawing up some designs for me" "that is good for you. You should never look down at yourself. You have been through an awful time and you have proved you are strong by getting this far. You need to remember that" I nodded "when I leave today what are you going to do?" "Probably sleep" "that's a good idea, if you are not too mentally exhausted I suggest you have that spa before laying down. It may help calm your mind so you can sleep peacefully" "I will try that" "good is there anything on your mind right now?" "No" "nothing at all, not the water, not dannon or maddox?" "no" "then I think we are done for the day. I suggest you get some rest and I will see you in a couple of days" I nodded. When John stood up, I did the same.
"I will walk you out" "okay"
Walking john to the front door I opened it up. "try keep your chin up Bridie" I nodded "thank you John" "take care, bye" "bye".
Closing the door, I walked straight up stairs to my room and closed the door before walking into the bathroom and turning the water on in the spa. Feeling the temp, I put the plug in then let it fill up.
Walking back to the room, I put my laptop on my bed and turned it on.
Waiting for it to load, I then checked my emails. Seeing one from Troy, I opened it up. Attached were two images. Opening the first, I couldn't help but smile. the tattoo for my chest was exactly how I imagined it to be, every little detail. Opening the second, my smile on got bigger looking at the faded purple butterfly sitting on a light pink lily it looked absolutely beautiful.
Turning my laptop off, I walked to the bathroom and removed my clothes before stepping into the spa and sitting down.
Turning the taps off, i sat back just watching the water like john suggested. The water moved from rough to calm within a minute and I just sat there watching it. A slight movement from my breathing but other than that it hardly moved.
Hearing my bedroom door I curled my knees up to cover my body.
"Bridie" "in the spa" dannon walked in looking at me "are you alright?" "Yes I am just having a spa like john suggested" "why a spa?" "To help calm my mind before i have a nap" dannon nodded "you can not be comfortable sitting that way, why are you sitting like that?" "To cover myself" "yourself or your scars?" "My scars" "don't do that" "dannon I.." "I know you dont like to see them" I nodded "will you be getting out soon?" "Yes is everything okay?" "I am going to come lay with you" "you do not need to do that" "I want to" "okay".