I Broke Her

15

Bridie.

That was hard, like really hard. My tear stained cheeks hurt, there's a lump sitting in my throat and I feel numb. Just staring at the plain white wall that is in front of me, I don't have the energy to move. This is the first time I have ever spoke about what happened that day and it kills me.
I don't know how long I sat in the room but feeling someone touch my shoulder, i jumped. "I'm so sorry sweetheart, I didn't mean to frighten you. I had called your name three times but you didn't answer" I shook my head "I'm sorry, I must've been zoned out" "are you feeling alright?" "I don't know what alright is angelic" she nodded "let's go have some food then you can rest" "what time is it?" "Three forty five, you have been in here on your own for two hours" "I should eat".
Walking out to the kitchen, I could hear the men out the back.
"They are both really worried about you Bridie" "I don't think I can handle too much company right now" "that's quite understandable, you have had an emotional day" I nodded.
"I'm quite tired" "if you need to sleep, do it. But you will be eating first" "I know".

"Here you go" "thank you" "how was your appointment with John?" "He asked a lot of questions" "they do. Were you able to answer them?" "Yes although it wasn't easy" "were you able to get through the entire ordeal?" "Yes I managed, it wasnt easy. He is coming back in two days" "he did mention that to me before he left. He also mentioned you should sit in a calm place" I nodded "by the pond" "that's what he told you?" "He asked what makes me feel relaxed but I dont have an answer to that. but I said the pond makes me feel calm" "you have always loved that part of the property" "its stunning and peaceful" "it definitely is".
Finishing my meal, I handed angelic my plate. "Thank you angelic, I'm going to go lay down" "do you need anything?" "Oh no I am quite fine but thank you" "you are welcome".

Dannon.

I havent seen Bridie all day. I'm concerned. I know her appointment was at twelve and only went for an hour but I have yet to see her. I don't even know if I will.
"What are you two doing out here?" "Just having a drink hun" "Have you seen Bridie?" "Yes I went into the office. She was still in there" "two hours after her appointment?" Angelic nodded "yes she was just staring into space. I tried to speak to her three times but she didn't respond until I touched her and she jumped out of the seat" "how was she?" "I don't know she looked empty" "her eyes?" "Yeah, it was a hard session for her" "where is she?" "She has gone to rest but I made her eat first" I nodded "she will need it" "I agree. She is to spend as much time as she can at the pond in the next two days" "why?" "John asked her what makes her feel relaxed but she doesn't have an answer to that only a place that makes her feel calm" "that's why she has always gone there" angelic nodded at callan.
"I took her to her house this morning, I can't believe she lived in that tiny place. I told her to grab everything she needs and wants as she will not live there anymore. If she won't go back to san Diego, she can live here" "there is always room for her here" "I know and I knew you wouldn't have a problem with it" "of course not. she is family". I don't want her to live here I want her to come back home but I also know that's going to be difficult. I don't even know if she will be with me and then there's what she mentioned at the pond about the images of my mother on the floor.
Hearing my phone ring, I grabbed it out of my pocket 'apollo'
"Apollo" "dannon how did today go?" "I haven't seen her but according to angelic she just looks numb" "I don't know if that's a good sign" "I'm unsure myself she has gone to rest" "she will be emotionally drained" "yeah. Everything okay there?" "Yes both hotels are running perfect same as the clubs. No trouble in the streets even that young gang haven't been back" "good to hear it" "do you need anything?" "Not at this stage but I will keep you updated" "I know" "if there's any issues let me know" "will do. say hi to angelic and callan for me" "alright, talk to you later" "bye".

"Apollo?" "yeah just checking in on everything" "all's well in san Diego?" "Yep running like clock work" "good. Let's drink" I nodded and grabbed my glass. Just chatting with callan for a couple of hours angelic came back out. "Food is up you two, come eat" "thanks hun" "thanks".
Walking in we both took a seat.
"Is Bridie joining us?" "I haven't seen her. my guess is she is still asleep" I nodded. I don't like the fact that she isn't eating but if she wakes up I'm sure angelic will make her some food.
Eating our meals we all sat in silence until hearing a high pitched scream.
"Bridie" "shit" getting out of my seat, I then ran up stairs her screams were still going. Opening the door to her room, I ran straight to her side. "Bridie" shaking her a little, she screamed as she sat up "Bridie" "no please don't" she moved back off the bed away from me and it fucking tore me apart. she is an absolute mess all because me. it's even affecting her sleep.
"hey I'm not going to hurt you, look at me" Bridie shook her head and covered her face with her hands. Walking around the bed slowly, I could see she was shaking as she had her back right against the wall. Moving closer, I spoke as softly as I could, just hoping it would register in her mind. I do not know how awake she is right now.
"Bridie it's okay" "it's not okay nothing is okay" "can you look at me?" Bridie removed her hands from her face and looked in my direction. her cheeks had tears on them but her eyes were empty. Holding my hands up so she knew I wasn't going to hurt her, i slowly walked forward "hey nothing is going to happen. I just want to comfort you" she didn't say anything just stared at me with a blank look. Slowly moving my hands to her side, I pulled her close and put my arms around her in a hug. Hearing her break, I held her tight just letting her release how she was feeling. There's nothing I can do to rewind time but fuck I wish there was. Feeling Bridie drop her tiny frame, I moved with her until we were both sitting down. Just holding her as she let the tears flow, it was tearing my insides up. I know I did this to her, it's all my fault. Shes struggling to sleep, she is tired, scared, paranoid and up until I found her she has been on her own. With the appointment today I was worried about how she would go and this says it all. I don't know if she has had this night terror before or if she has slept a full night In six years but I will ask her when she is in the right frame of mind.
Feeling her body relax and the sobs calm down, I kissed the top of her head "I will do anything I can to help you Bridie. I am so so sorry for ever hurting you and putting you through that. You are the woman I love and I hurt you, this is all my fault. I will be here to build you up again. I don't care how long it takes" Bridie put one of her arms around me as the other sat on my stomach "let's get you to bed, you need to rest" "I don't have the energy to move right now dannon. I'm tired" "that's okay" keeping one hand behind her back, I put my other under her legs and stood up carrying her to the bed laying her down. "Please don't leave dannon" "I'm not going anywhere". Laying down beside her, I pulled her close. "Never will I leave you. If you want me here I'll stay" not once did she open her eyes but that's okay. as long as she is comfortable. Placing a lingering kiss on her forehead, I then pulled back. Just looking at the woman I love beside me, I couldn't take my eyes off of her.