I Broke Her

12

Bridie

"Would you like a hand cleaning up?" "If you would like too" I nodded and stood up grabbing some dishes. "I can take it bridie" "it's okay, I will do it" dannon nodded and let me take his plate. Taking everything to the kitchen angelic was already loading the dishwasher.
"Do you want to tell me why you won't show your body?" "The scars" "don't worry about them" "I don't want to show them. I feel more comfortable with a shirt on" "okay but I hope it'll change in the future" I nodded "we'll see". "Would you like a drink while we rest in the pool?" "Okay that would be great thank you" "white or red?" "White" "you were never a red drinker" "no it's just not a taste I enjoy".

"Well now all this is done let's go to the pool" grabbing my glass, angelic did the same then we headed out the back.
I'm thankful the day is warm.
Putting my drink down on the table I removed my pants then folded them putting them on the chair.
"The men won't be able to see you down there if that's what you are worried about?" "No I just don't like to see them. it reminds me of everything" "okay, grab your glass. let's get in".

"It's good to have another female here. I'm always around the men" I grinned "that's the way it is. I always felt like that in the past" "yeah well we still hold the reins" I chuckled "you definitely do" "we both do".
"Are you feeling comfortable here?" "Yes I have my moments as I'm not used to being around anyone but I'm doing okay" "you have been all alone?" I nodded "yes I didn't want anyone getting hurt because of me" "you know they won't hurt you, they have to get through me first" "I'm still on edge" "that's understandable. Did dannon tell you a psychologist is coming tomorrow?" "Yes he did. although I don't know what I am going to say" "just tell them what happened" "it's going to be the first time I have spoke about it angelic" "I guessed that but you need to speak to someone. I can tell there's something else that's eating at you" "it's not only my past, the past has affected my future" "you will heal" I shook my head and put my head down as sadness crept up within me. "Not this time angelic" "you are not talking about mentally are you?" "No" "do you want to talk to me about it?" I nodded although I didnt know how I was going to get the words out. It's killed me ever since I heard the news.
"Umm.." "it's tearing you apart" I nodded and leant back raising my shirt "you see this scar?" "Yes" "because of this.. I.. I can't have kids" "WHAT?" Turning around there was dannon and callan. I instantly put my head down and turned away.
"Come on dannon lets go back up to the patio" "NO. Bridie" I shook my head "don't dannon" "dannon I think it's best that you go back up to the patio" "I need to know if I heard that right" "bridie needs time dannon" I could hear them but I couldn't face him.

Dannon

"Do you want to go down and join them?" "Yeah alright, good day for it". Walking down with callan, we got to the waters edge.
"Umm.." "it's tearing you apart" I stopped in my tracks just listening. seeing bridie lean back she raised her shirt at the front not that I could see "you see this scar?" "Yes" "because of this.. I.. I can't have kids" "WHAT?" Bridie turned to look at me then turned away again with tears in her eyes.
"Come on dannon lets go back up to the patio" "NO. Bridie" she shook her head "don't dannon" "dannon I think it's best that you go back up to the patio" "I need to know if I heard that right" "bridie needs time dannon" I looked at angelic then at callan and walked up to the patio.
Bridie can't have kids, I did that to her. I took the chance away for her to have children. Sculling my drink, I put the glass the table. It's all my fault, every single thing is my fault. I didn't just destroy her mentally but also physically. I know she has four scars on her. three were deep cuts but the one on her lower stomach was from me sinking the knife into her. Just the thought of it I feel sick. Walking inside, I entered the downstairs toilet closing the door. Throwing up my food until nothing came out, I sat back against the wall running my hands through my hair and let the tears fall down my face. All because I didn't question her and acted out of anger. how can she ever forgive me for what I have done, when I will never forgive myself. I took the right to be a mother away from her, I scarred her not only mentally but visible scars sit on her body.
"Dannon" "I will be out in a minute" "are you alright?" "No" "I will get a drink for you". I'm going to need more than a drink.

Bridie

"I didn't know he was there" "nor did I. But it's better to be out in the open" "it's not the way he should've found out" "you are still the caring woman putting everyone before yourself" "I can't help it" "even after everything he has done, you still choose to protect him" I nodded "you love him. You two have always been suited for each other just like callan and I" "yes I know, it didn't matter how much I tried, I couldn't hate him" "that's what makes you strong" "or stupid" "no, you have never been a stupid woman. Us woman are tough" I grinned "how many scars have you got?" "Four" "where are the other two?" "On my chest in a cross" "in a cross?" I nodded "he told me I shouldn't have a heart for what I had done and cut a cross on my chest" "why did he cut your face?" I shrugged "I don't know, it's a scar everyone can see" "including him and it's killing him seeing what he has done" "I know I can see his raw emotions" "he has showed you?" "A little bit" "who knew the men could be emotional huh" I chuckled "yeah".

Relaxing in the pool for a little while longer we decided to get out.
"I'm going to go get changed" "do you need more clothes?" "not yet" angelic nodded "we can go get you some" "theres plenty at my house" "then we will go there" "not today, we have been drinking" "alright maybe tomorrow".
Heading upstairs, I changed out of my wet clothes and put my dry ones on.

Hearing a knock I wasn't sure who it would be but I answered. "Come in" seeing dannon open the door, he hesitantly walked in. I could see the pain on his face as he closed the door.
"Will you sit with me?" I nodded and took a seat on the bed, dannon soon joining me.
"You can't have kids?" "No it's a very slim chance and if I do fall pregnant it can cause some complications" dannon put his head down in his hands as he rested his elbows on his legs. "I took away your opportunity to be a mother" "I didn't mean for you to find out this way, I didnt know you were close" dannon shook his head "you still put me before yourself even after everything I did. I don't get it" I din't know what to say.
"I'm sorry Bridie, so fucking sorry" "I know" dannon lifted his head looking straight at me "even if you do forgive me one day, I will never forgive myself. You didn't deserve that, you deserve the world not to be.." "you don't need to finish that dannon". I stood up. I need to clear my head. The love of my life, the one I had so many good memories with but also the one that hurt me the most was sitting beside me in tears making my walls break. "Can you show me?" I looked at dannon "show you what?" "The scars" I put my head down "you already know what you did dannon" "please" taking a deep breath, I removed my shirt and dannon stood up.
"Dannon" he didn't say anything just walked closer and I wasn't sure what he was planning to do. Here I am standing in just my pants and bra in front of the man who caused these scars. Seeing him lift his hand slowly I said his name "dannon" he shook his head and ran his thumb over the scar on my stomach as tears ran down his cheeks. Never saying a word he just continued.