If I Die... (Final Ending to Deadly in Love)

Chapter 29

If I Die... trailer!! ^^^^
Chapter song: I Would by Justin Bieber
(Justin's pov)
-1am-
I jerked awake, looking for Christie. She wasn't beside me. I could've sworn I felt her get up, so I got up too and checked everywhere. She's in the bathroom. The light is on. I pressed my ear against the door to hear silence. My mouth went dry, and I knocked anxiously.
"Christie, are you ok, baby?"
I jiggled the doorknob only for it to appear locked. My insides fell and my heart was either racing or falling at the same time.
"Christie, Christie! Answer me!"
My throat felt like it was squeezing in on me. I used worry and fear to bust the doorknob. My jaw dropped, and I forgot how to breathe. Christie was on the floor, a knife in her hand with blood everywhere. My breathing was now panicky, and I fell on my knees in disbelief.
"Christie...oh god, please tell me you didn't..."
I was on the verge of tears and checked her pulse on both wrists. My hands were now covered in blood. HER blood. I couldn't help but start to cry.
"Baby, wake up, please! Wake up!"
I sobbed and shook in worry as I hoped for a heartbeat. Nothing.
"No! No! I will not let you do this!!"
I tightly wrapped her wrists with bandages then carried her outside. It was cold outside, and I was shirtless and covered in blood. I laid Christie in the car and honked to wake up the others. Za was the first one to open his door.
"Dude, what happened?"
He rushed over to me.
"Just get Drew. Meet me at the hospital"
I couldn't calm down. I rushed the car to the hospital. Good thing it was nearby.
"She needs help! Please, bring her back!"
I could barely speak. I'm surprised I can even think. Christie was taken into the emergency room as I tried to calm down. I couldn't.
"Justin! What happened!"
Ryan bursted in with the others. Thankfully, Za had Drew.
"I don't know"
I looked at my hands, covered in Christie's blood. I couldn't stop crying. I don't care who saw anymore. I went to the bathroom and washed the blood off. Omigod. I can't do this.
"Justin, seriously, what's going on?"
Kayla asked worriedly.
"Christie...she tried to kill herself...I-I don't know how I let that happen"
I hid my face in my hands as I cried. It was all quiet. I could've done something. I feel like I'm fucking everything up. I just want Christie to be happy. That's all I ever wanted. It's my fault, but it's her fault, and in a way, it's Jason and Stephanie's fault. They encouraged her to do this. They made her feel so bad about herself. However, it's my fault for letting her get away. I should've never let this slip by in the first place. I should've made sure her head was straight from the very beginning. Instead, I focused on my brother. I focused on protecting Christie and Drew. But it's her fault too. She's a mother. She has a baby. Why would she take it that far? I've tried so hard to get her better, and this is how she repays me, by committing suicide. I know that what I said to her was wrong, and it was probably what made her do it. I made her feel worthless by telling her she was fucked up. Honestly, I didn't mean it. I was upset with her, and I guess I hated the fact that I couldn't do anything to stop her. Christie means everything to me, and I need her. If she dies, I don't know what I'll do. I know she's survived almost everything, but I'll never know when her last hospital trip will be. I could have lots of hope, because she's made it through: being shot, being in a car crash, having Drew, and who-knows-how-many suicide attempts. She's made it through starving herself, harming herself, and tearing herself apart. But that doesn't mean she's invincible. She's still a human, and she can still die. I don't know why this world gives her another chance, gives ME another chance. I don't deserve anything close to a girl like Christie. All I've ever done was fuck things up. I don't know what I was thinking when I decided to keep her. I guess I was being too selfish. I only thought about what I wanted, and I wanted Christie. I really hope she makes it, even when I have no hope. I will kill Jason for this. He knew about Christie, and he wanted to fuck our marriage apart. He didn't, but he sure did fuck everything else up. He purposely tracked down my ex to make Christie feel bad, and it worked. With Christie dead or not, I'm gonna murder his ass.
"Justin, don't blame yourself"
Za stood beside me.
"I kinda have to. I let her slip right past me"
I sniffled and wiped my eyes.
"She would've done it eventually"
Za mumbled, looking hesitant
"I still could've stopped her"
I muttered doubtfully.
"Here, I'm sure he'd rather be with you"
Za handed Drew to me, so I took him in my arms.
"Thanks"
I mumbled before Za walked away. I looked down at Drew, who was sleeping peacefully. He's such a heavy sleeper.
"Don't worry. Mommy's gonna be ok, baby"
I nuzzled him in my chest. I should put on a shirt.
"We'll make it through this"
I shed another tear. Drew started to whimper then let out small moans. He started to cry, so I brought him into the bathroom.
"Shh, calm down, baby. Don't cry"
I held him close and coed to him. He reached his hand to my cheek and looked at me with teary eyes. I knew what he wanted, Christie. He wanted his mother.
"It's alright. You'll see her again. Mommy's not going anywhere"
I continued to cry. I didn't believe any of the words I said. It's not alright. I don't know if I'll see Christie again. And I don't know if she's going anywhere or not. I calmed myself down and let Drew continue sleeping. I left the bathroom and sat on the lobby sofa. I closed my eyes with Drew in my arms. I wasn't trying to sleep. I couldn't, even if I tried. I just wanna be left alone for now.
-5am-
"I have good news and bad news"
A female voice spoke, making me shoot my eyes open and look at the nurse.
"What is it?"
I asked impatiently.
"She's still alive..."
Once she said that, I felt my worry disappear.
"...But she might not stay alive for long. She's has an extreme amount of blood loss, and she's unable to wake up for now. She might've hit her head. Do you know?"
The nurse looked at me. I shook my head, not wanting to play back what I saw tonight.
"Well, if any of you have the same blood type as her, it would really help"
The nurse stated.
"What is her blood type?"
I held Drew and stood up.
"A"
Fuck, I'm AB+. I sighed and sat back down.
"What if neither of-"
"I'll do it if you want, bro"
Za interrupted.
"Really?"
I looked at him tiredly but hopefully.
"Yea, we're all family"
Za smiled generously.
"Thanks, man"
I gave him an appreciative nod.
"Take this. You might need it"
Khalil gave me his jacket, and I put it on.
"Thanks"
I put it on.
"Let's go"
Za began to follow to nurse through the doors. I handed Drew to Kayla then caught up with him. As we walked down the hall, I wondered if Christie was nearby. She could be in any of these rooms. I really want to see her, asleep or not...Dead or not.
"Am I allowed to see her?"
I asked, hoping I could.
"She's in room 66B"
The nurse led Za into another room to get his blood drawn. I searched frantically for Christie's room until I found it and bursted in. There was a small, pale girl sleeping in a hospital bed. Christie. I tore up inside as I studied her and walked closer. I don't even know if I knew her anymore. Her cheeks were hollow and her face was pale, like she was dead. I knew she wasn't, because the heart monitor was beeping. Her bones were so visible that it looked like it would rip her skin. I haven't seen this much of her since we were in the shower. Her breathing was calm and slow. It worried me. I placed my hand on her cheek, alarmed with how cold she was. Her lips were almost blue but still had a light pink color to them. I stroked my fingers to her bare shoulder, down her arm. I moved the blankets off her as I felt the cuts and scars along her arm. It was heart-shattering, actually feeling her wrist. It was a little swollen at parts, I'm guessing, because she burned herself. I could feel the dried-up cuts along her arm. Finally, I reached the bandaged part of her wrist, the part that she cut herself to death. It was bandaged and wrapped tightly to stop the blood. I swallowed hard, making me whimper a little in sympathy. The only thing I could think of was how I could've prevented her from doing this.
"What did I do wrong, baby?"
I broke into a silent cry and covered her arm back with the blankets.
"I gave you everything. I did everything for you. Why would you do this to me? Why would you want to leave me?"
I sat down and cried in my hands. I don't understand. I can't understand why she hated herself so much. If anyone should hate themselves, it should be me. She never fucked up my life, she made it better. I, on the other hand, made her life a living hell. I caused her so much pain and anger. I got her involved with the mess I was into. I make stupid decisions and get my mom, dad, brother, and sister killed. What more should I be sorry for? Oh, right, I made Christie attempt suicide. What's next? Drew's death? I hope not.
"Can you just...wake up? Please?"
I sniffled and stopped crying. I swear, if she lives, I will never take anything for granted again.

(A/N: I just saw Justin's ponytail and I can't😂😍 Next post is on Tuesday💚)

(Btw the trailer to If I Die is added to this chapter. It should work, but if not, the link is right here: http://youtu.be/GRrhsKgAxi4)