If I Die... (Final Ending to Deadly in Love)

Chapter 32

Chapter song: Right Thru Me by Nicki Minaj
(Christie's pov)
Justin swallowed hard and took a breath.
"Christie, I feel like I drove you on. I feel like I could've done something to help you. I really tried, but I guess I didn't try hard enough."
Justin's eyes glanced at my bandaged wrists then back to my eyes.
"It's my fault."
I mumbled doubtfully.
"No, it's not your fault."
Justin disagreed.
"But-mm"
He kissed me to cut off my sentence.
"It. Is. Not. Your. Fault."
He mumbled through the kiss. I kissed back and hid myself in the warmth of his neck.
"I'm tired, Justin."
My whole self was tired. My voice was smothered in so much hurt that it could barely be heard.
"Go to sleep, beautiful."
Justin kissed my temple then held me close. I closed my eyes and breathed against the skin of his neck.
(Justin's pov)
-3pm-
Damn, I don't care what Christie says. It's my fault. It's no use arguing over. I could feel Christie breathing against my neck. She was now sleeping peacefully. The flicker of her eyelids could be felt. I smiled, because it sort of tickled. Oh god, if only she knew the pain I felt all over myself. It's intolerable. I don't want her to hurt anymore. She's had enough. I'd rather feel what she's feeling than leave her to deal with it. Christie started to whimper in my arms.
"Mm, ow"
Her voice was frail and at a whisper.
"What's wrong, baby?"
I whispered in her soft hair.
"Justin..."
She pulled away from my neck to look at me hurtfully.
"What is it, Christie?"
I gave her a worried look.
"My stomach hurts."
She whimpered and held her stomach. Fuck.
"I'll get someone."
I got out of the bed and walked outside.
"Excuse me, she needs help in here."
I called to a nurse, and she entered the room. The nurse gave Christie medicine through a cup.
"She should feel better in a few minutes"
The nurse said friendly. I hated the thought of her being pregnant. It can't happen. Nobody can get pregnant without a period. Plus, it may just be a side effect of the anesthesia.
"Do you mind, uhm, giving her a pregnancy test?"
I was a bit uncomfortable with asking. I had to be sure.
"Sure, one moment."
The nurse left the room.
"Do you think I'm pregnant?"
Christie was still whimpering.
"No"
I moved her hair out of her eyes.
"Me too"
She let out a small, painful squeak.
"Are you ok, baby?"
I held her hand. She nodded and whimpered. I hate to see her like this.
"Ok, I'm gonna draw some blood if that's ok."
The nurse walked back in. I looked away as the nurse stuck an needle in Christie's arm. I waited a few moments for it to stop.
"She's gone, Justin."
Christie spoke, and I looked back at her.
"I swear, Christie, if you are pregnant, you will not go through this shit again."
I told her seriously.
"Wouldn't that be abortion?"
Her voice was frail.
"...More like suicide."
I muttered out loud. Oops. Christie's eyes narrowed at the words I just said.
"Sorry, Christie."
I whispered shamefully.
"It's fine."
She closed her eyes. The door opened, and the nurse walked in.
"Ok, we tested her, and she's pregnant."
Those words made my heart sink all the way down to hell. No fucking way. I grew angry, and I think it was obvious.
(Christie's pov)
"Is everything al-"
"Give us a moment, please."
Justin spoke through clenched teeth. I grew nervous as the nurse shut the door.
"Fuck!"
Justin bursted and hit the wall. He picked up chairs and threw them. He kept shouting bad words and hitting and throwing objects.
"Justin"
I started to cry in hate of everything. There wasn't much I could do from a hospital bed. He was trashing the whole room. The door opened, and the others came in.
"Woah, Justin, what's wrong?"
Ryan was the first to ask. They saw me crying then grew even more worried.
"Justin, calm dow-"
"You calm down!!"
Justin roughly shoved Ryan aside then stormed outside. I gasped then started crying harder. We heard banging an shouting from outside the door. I hid myself in my sleeves as tears streamed down my cheeks. Khalil sighed then motioned for Za and Ryan to follow him out the door. The shouting increased, then they soon returned with an infuriated Justin. He was breathing hard and had his fists clenched.
"Get out."
He hissed at them.
"Bro, you-"
"Get the fuck out!"
Justin spat at them.
"Justi-"
"Shut up!"
Justin snapped at me. I closed my mouth and teared up even more. They looked hesitant to leave. I guess, because they think Justin's gonna hurt me. I hope not. The door shut. I didn't say anything. I just cried hardly, feeling hurt by him shouting at me.
"Fuck, no! I'm gonna kill him!"
Justin hit the wall again. I remained quiet. I'm not saying anything at all. I looked away as I calmed down. Justin's anger soon cooled, and I felt his presence nearby.
"Christie, are you ok?"
His voice was sad yet still a but irritated. I didn't answer. Justin told me to shut up, so that's what he's gonna get.
"Christie...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you."
He sighed in guilt.
"Baby, look at me..."
Justin sounded hurt.
"Look at me, Christie...Look at me."
His fingertips touched the side of my cheek, but I pushed them away.
"C'mon, baby, I'm sorry. Just look at me, Christie."
He spoke with his voice wobbly.
"What do you want, Justin"
Finally, I looked at him, but it was a glare.
"I'm sorry."
He cupped my face in his hands.
"Ok"
I moved his hands away.
"Christie, stop it."
His voice turned serious.
"You started it."
I continued to glare at him.
"I said I was sorry."
Justin tugged his hair.
"I just don't want you to touch me."
I mumbled with my hands holding my stomach just in case it hurts again.
"Do you feel ok?"
He asked softly.
"I'm fine."
It was a lie, because I feel a bit nauseated. If I were the nurse, I'd check again, because I know I'm not pregnant.
"I'm sorry, Christie. I was mad and pissed off. I don't want you mad at me. I feel like shit for talking to you like that, and I didn't mean it."
He caressed my stomach, slipping his hands under mine.
"Don't worry about it."
I placed my hands on his.
"I guess I owe them an apology."
He motioned toward the door.
"Yea."
I agreed.
"What are we gonna do, babe?"
Justin asked about the pregnancy.
"I don't know. I don't wanna do it, but I don't wanna kill an innocent baby."
I mumbled honestly.
"Christie, I know what murder is, and if you don't wanna go through with it, that's not a crime."
Justin explained.
"But...I don't want the baby to die."
My throat felt like it was closing in on me.
"And I don't want YOU to die. Christie, if you have this baby, it's gonna kill you and the baby. I'm sorry, but...the baby's gonna die either way."
He seemed sad to tell me.
"How do you know?"
I wanted an explanation on why it has to be like this.
"Cos you almost died last time, and now that you're beating yourself up again, I doubt you'll make it."
Justin spoke truthfully. I knew he was right, but the baby deserves a shot at it too.
"...I'm gonna try to have this baby."
I spoke with doubt yet courage. I was afraid of Justin's reaction.

(A/n: Justin's pissing me off😡😭 next post is on Sunday☀️)

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