If I Die... (Final Ending to Deadly in Love)

Chapter 35

Chapter song: Skinny Love by Birdy
-3pm-
(Justin's pov)
How do I put this? How do I say that "Christie's a stubborn bitch who doesn't know what she's doing" without sounding like a complete jackass? I'm not so great either, bringing up the fact that my brother raped her. I feel like crap, and I know I'm the one who should apologize. It just hurts so bad knowing that she's gonna die from something that can be stopped. The baby is not even gonna make it out alive, because she has an eating disorder. If it does make it alive, it's not gonna be in good condition. What makes her think that this will be successful? How can a baby live from a mother who has no food in her system? It's impossible, but she can't see that. And what's even worse is that she won't even make it out alive either.
(Christie's pov)
"I can take care of Drew if you want to take a break."
Brie offered nicely.
"Ok, thank you."
I handed Drew to her then rested my head on the pillow. It's not that I don't want to hold Drew. My feelings are still hurt from what Justin said. I can't let it go when it's repeating in my head.
"Christie, it's time to eat. Do you want jello, applesauce, anything?"
The nurse walked in.
"Uhm, applesauce is fine."
I answered uneasily. Ever since Justin told her that I starved myself, I knew she'd make me eat something for now on.
"Ok"
The nurse went to get the applesauce as I sat up and shifted to the edge of the bed with the help of Ryan.
"Thanks"
I mumbled and used the table to poorly keep myself up.
"Here you go."
The nurse walked in and set the applesauce in front of me. She had a look in her eye that told me she wasn't going anywhere. I slowly pulled the lid off and bit my lip.
"I need to speak to you."
Justin suddenly barged in and motioned everyone to leave.
"Oh, you're trying to make her eat? How's that going for you?"
Justin spoke with sarcasm, and the nurse left with everyone else. Ok, that's rude. I glared at him and crossed my arms.
"It's my fault, Christie. It's all my fault, ok?"
He held my hand, but it's not that easy.
"Whatever"
I pulled my hand away and muttered in annoyance.
"Listen, I'm tired of this. You're not having that baby. I don't ca-"
"No, I'm having this baby. It's my choice."
I glared crazily at him.
"Christie, no, you're not."
He was clearly upset, his jaw locked and his eyes full of anger.
"Yes, I am. You can't tell me what to do."
I'm not putting up with him.
"I can tell you to do whatever the hell I want."
Justin spoke irritably, moving close to me.
"What's your problem, Justin?"
I pushed him away with my good arm.
"You're my fucking problem, Christie. I will not let you die, just because you want to."
He put his hands on my shoulders.
"I'm giving the baby a chance."
I shook his hands off.
"You're gonna fucking die, and you're not having the baby. That's final."
He sent me a demanding glare.
"Fuck you."
I rolled my eyes, then he harshly gripped my face and glared at me.
"Don't talk to me like that."
He spat coldly at me, his grip tightening. My heart jumped dramatically at his actions.
"Let go of me."
Tears formed in my eyes, and I tried to pulled his hand away. Justin released my face then clenched his jaw.
"Go to hell."
He muttered in pure anger.
"You to go hell. I should've known that you're just like your stupid brother. No wonder you're twins."
I spat hurtfully at him. At that moment, Justin snapped and shoved me on the bed.
"You shut your damn mouth."
He growled and clasped his hands around my neck.
"Ju-st-in...stop."
I was freaking out inside and choked out. Justin stopped, his eyes filling with sorrow and regret.
"...Oh, fuck...oh, shit, Christie, I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry."
He moved away and reached for my face, but I pushed him away.
"Go away."
I sobbed and coughed in my hands.
"Christie, I-"
"Go...please."
I cried and begged him to leave.
"Baby-"
"Go, Justin. And take this. I don't want it anymore."
I slipped off my ring and shoved it in his hand. Justin didn't say anything, didn't look at me, and I don't even know if he knew where he was going. He left the room, and everything was quiet. I cried, still feeling the touch of his hands around my neck. I didn't know what to do. Justin tried to kill me. Did he really? I KNOW Justin would never do that. I just need a few days away from him, let him get himself together. I can't stand him around right now. I'm so sick of fighting and arguing and cussing and insulting each other. We never do that, at least not like this. Every once in a while, we'd disagree then apologize, but Justin never tried to KILL me. I don't even know him right now. All I see in him is anger and fury. It's all my fault. We fight all because of my pregnancy. Ever since this baby came into the picture, Justin and I've been beating each other up left and right. It's frustrating, and I need a break.
"Christie, is everything good in here?"
The others walked in looking worried.
"Yea"
I dried my eyes, knowing that they knew I wasn't ok.
"Justin just left the-"
"I know."
I flinched at the sound of Justin's name.
"Oh, well, do you need anything?"
Khalil knew I didn't want to talk about Justin, so he changed the subject.
"No, I'm ok."
I sat up and looked for Drew.
"He's right here."
Stacy handed Drew over to me.
"Thanks"
I wanted to cry in the warmth of Drew's body, but I don't want everyone worried.
"Do you know when you're leaving?"
Brie was in Za's arms, making me tear up even more. Why can't Justin and I be like that, no worries?
"I'll have to ask."
I leaned back and kept Drew close.
"You seem tired. Maybe you should rest."
Kayla turned off every light except in the bathroom. I closed my eyes and replayed everything that happened today. It's all because I don't want to commit abortion. Plus, I said some pretty regretful things to Justin. It's all my fault. Now, I understand why Justin would want to get rid of me. By him doing that, it tells me that Justin wants me dead, wants me out of his life. It doesn't make sense, because he's the one who gave me a reason worth living. He encouraged me to go on, yet he just tried to kill me himself. If he wanted me gone so badly, then why don't I just end it all for him?
(Justin's pov)
Maybe I am turning into my brother. But I'm nothing like Jason. I don't break into houses, do drugs, murder people....except I almost killed Christie. Now, that's more like Jason. I hate myself for doing that. She just triggered me so badly that I overdid it. She told me that I was just like my brother, which made me snap. How could she say that? She knows I'm nothing like that asshole. I gave her everything, and she has the nerve to say that I'm no different than my jackass brother? It hurts, you know? I want to go back and hold her and apologize...but time apart from each other might be the only solution. We've been fighting a lot, mostly because of Christie's pregnancy. All I wanted was to keep her alive, but she can't see that. I feel so fucking bad. I don't want to look at her or Drew at all, because I feel so bad. No matter how hard I convince myself that it's Christie's fault too, I know it all adds up to me. I'm the one who took it too far, so I'm the one to blame. I hate this feeling, even though I've felt it so many times before. The feeling of Christie hating me is what really hurts, especially since she gave her wedding ring back to me. godammit that hurt so bad. She basically gave everything we had up. I can't stand myself right now, so I'll just go away.

(A/N: I had a dream about Drew last night. We were at a hotel, and I lost him.😁 Next post is on Sunday)