If I Die... (Final Ending to Deadly in Love)

Chapter 24

Video works ^^^
Chapter song: Grow by Rae Morris
(Justin's pov)
-5am-
No sleep. Neither of us got any sleep. Christie has either been crying or sniffling all night. I've been regretting everything that happened. I've been praying that this will just end already.
"I'm sorry"
I whispered with my neck soaked with tears.
"Don't"
Christie finally spoke.
"I broke my promise"
I remembered that I promised her I'd be alright, but I didn't. I ended up getting my ass beaten.
"You didn't mean to"
She whispered quietly.
"I still let you down"
I hated myself for putting her through all this bullshit.
"No, you didn't"
She cried in a whisper.
"I don't know what to do anymore"
I sighed, doubtful of everything now.
"Don't leave me"
The tears stopped pouring, but she still whimpered.
"I won't. That I can promise"
Finally, I pulled her away from my neck to press my forehead against hers.
"I want you to listen to me. We're gonna make it through this. I know you're scared and hurt, but we'll find a way to get out of this. You've gotta be strong for me, ok?"
I inhaled her painful breaths as she shook and whimpered. She nodded her head and tried to steady her breathing.
"What about you?"
She whimpered hurtfully.
"What about me, baby?"
I cupped my hands around her face.
"Are you ok?"
Another tear slipped from her eye.
"I'm fine, babygirl"
I kissed her bruised cheek. I couldn't make anything better for us. All I could do was comfort her.
"I want to die"
Her words made my heart drop.
"No, you don't. You're just scared. Don't you ever say that"
I squeezed her hands. She dried her eyes and carefully stood up. I got up and helped her.
"Take this"
I handed her a few pain pills. She took them then dragged herself tiredly to the bathroom. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. I was mentally begging her to not do anything bad, not to hurt herself. There was a knock at the door, so I looked through the peephole to see Za, Brie, Ryan, Stacy, Khalil, and Kayla.
"Hey, guys"
I saw Drew in Brie's arms. At least I know he's ok...for now.
(Christie's pov)
I wish I could die. What happened last night was unspeakable. All I can say is that I fucking hate myself. I hate my life. I'd rather die than suffer through regret, pain, and hatefulness. I took a shower, but it's no use. This has happened 1-2-3-4 times, and there comes a point when I can't take it anymore. I've already past that point. I'm so sick of being treated like nothing. I'm not some slut that likes to fuck other guys. I'm protective of my body, and when someone thinks it's ok to use me like that, I'm not ok. As a matter of fact, I hate myself even more, because I feel like I could've done something to prevent it. After my shower, I dried then redressed myself in an oversized sweater and baggy sweatpants. I didn't hesitate to mentally throw an insult at myself. That's when I knelt down to lift the bathroom rug. The pieces of glass were still there, glistening like they were dying to tear through my skin. I gave them the advantage and pressed the sharp edge to my wrist. Blood leaked through as a tear fell on the floor. I don't feel the way I used to. I don't feel the satisfying pain. The only thing I want anymore is to die. It sounds terrible, but I've never been happy and stayed happy...ever. Maybe I'm not meant to be happy. Maybe I don't get a happy ending.
"Christie, can I come in?"
Justin's voice asked. I quickly hid the glass under the rug.
"One moment"
I pressed hard on my wrist to stop the bleeding.
"I know what you're doing, Christie"
Justin sounded hurt. I fumbled with the bandages and felt a suffocating feeling in my throat. I held back my cries as I wrapped my arm. It wasn't secure, but it worked. Once I had my arm bandaged and my sleeves rolled down, I opened the door. Justin immediately hugged me, making me almost crash down completely.
"Not again, Christie"
His body was warm yet it brought a overwhelming feeling of guilt to me. I hugged him back and let another tear slip out.
"You should take a nap. You haven't slept all night"
He led me to the bed. I saw Drew and lifted him in my arms. Justin climbed into bed with me and Drew. I was happy for now, but of course, it wouldn't last. It never does.
-2pm-
I was woken by a whimpering body. It was Drew, who was starting to cry. I snuggled him closer and stroked his back. Eventually, he stopped crying and fell back asleep in my arms.
"You're so beautiful"
Justin was awake. I bit my lip in nervousness. He chuckled and stroked my cheek. I closed my eyes and let him.
"Do you love me?"
His question was unbelievable.
"Yes, I love you, Justin. I really do"
I opened my eyes in confusion.
"Good"
He had a sad look in his eyes that made me want to reach into his head and rip out the sadness. I set Drew in his crib then crawled to Justin and laid on top of him, hugging him close.
"I mean it"
I spoke softly.
"I love you so much. I wish I could make you happy"
His breathing was uneven, signaling he was hurt and about to cry.
"Justin"
I was about to cry myself.
"Sorry...We should probably check up on the others"
He helped me up then grabbed his phone. I don't think he should keep in his feelings like that. Since Drew was awake again, I went to feed him.
"Hey, Bieber"
Khalil's voice spoke through Justin's phone on speaker.
"Hey, what's going on?"
Justin watched me as I fed Drew.
"A lot. Why?"
Khalil sounded worn out. I wonder why.
"I'm just checking up on you. What's got you down, bro?"
Justin listened and asked.
"It's kinda personal, but Kayla thinks I should tell you guys"
Khalil sighed.
"What?"
Justin's eyebrows furrowed.
"...Kayla's pregnant"
Khalil confessed.
"Damn, how'd that happen?"
Justin joked around yet he was still serious.
"Very funny, Bieber. It's not a good thing to handle right now"
Khalil sounded stressed.
"You're right...but you guys will be ok. After all, you're not the one that Jason's after"
Justin seemed sympathetic.
"Yea, but it's difficult to handle, you know?"
Khalil referred to Kayla's pregnancy.
"Yea, I know. She'll be fine, bro"
Justin glanced at me.
"Thanks. I should go. Kayla's feeling bad"
Khalil stated sadly.
"Ok. See you later"
Justin hung up.
"Damn"
He sighed and bowed his head in thought. I finished feeding Drew then let him drink of his bottle.
"I need something to eat"
Justin walked into the kitchen. I went to the couch bed and sat with Drew in my arms. He giggled and touched my cheeks. I smiled at how cute he was. The cute smile on his face was so perfect. I couldn't describe how beautiful he was. Justin was making a can of soup. Drew started to slow down in movement, signaling he was tired. I snuggled him to my chest again and rocked him soothingly.
"Hush little baby don't say a word" [sings the rest of the song]
I sang softly into Drew's ear, calming him into a deep sleep.
"Your voice is so beautiful"
Justin complimented me.
"Thanks"
I blushed and put Drew in his crib.
"I'll be right back"
He went to the bathroom. I laid down on the bed and rested my aching body. Justin came back and laid beside me. His warm lips pressed softly against my jawline.
"Justin, I don't-"
"Let me kiss you"
He planted kisses along my jaw and neck. I let him, because it felt good, and I needed comforting.

(A/N: Good news. I'm making a trailer for If I Die... Can't wait to finish it. Next post is on Friday)

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