If I Die... (Final Ending to Deadly in Love)

Chapter 21

Video works^^^
Chapter song: Hope by Emeli Sande
(Christie's pov)
When Justin was able to get up, I helped him by moving stuff out of the way. He seemed perfectly fine. The nurse said not to put too much pressure on his shoulder. I made sure Drew was warm and cozy. This place is freezing. How is Justin not cold?
"You sure like to think a lot"
Justin chuckled, and I broke my thoughts to look at him.
"What?"
I gave him a bewildered look.
"How much time do you spend in your mind all day?"
He smiled quizzically.
"I don't know. A lot, I guess"
I blushed a little.
"Well, you need to spend more time with me"
Justin winked then kissed me.
"We're ba-ack"
All of our friends entered.
"You can leave?"
Ryan saw Justin standing.
"Yea, I just need a shirt"
Justin motioned to his bare chest.
"I'll go ask the desk"
I handed Drew to him then walked into the cold hallway.
"Excuse me?"
I stepped in front of the desk.
"How can I help you?"
The desk lady asked.
"Do you have any extra shirts I can borrow. I need a large one"
I asked nervously.
"I can go check. Wait here"
The lady stood and walked into a nearby room titled "Employees Only" I hugged myself for warmth and waited.
"Ugh, why are you here?"
An annoyed Stephanie walked up to me.
"None of your business"
I mumbled and ignored her.
"You're such a pig. I can't see why Justin would even look at you. I can tell that he's totally in love with me. I mean, he does have a thing for blondes, which you're not"
She giggled to herself and flicked her long, blonde hair behind her.
"I don't see a ring on your finger"
I shot back, trying to fight back tears.
"But I have this"
Stephanie held up Justin's one and only black hoodie.
"You stole that"
I glared knowingly.
"Oh, did you see him wearing it when he arrived? Or when you saw him last?"
She asked with sarcasm. Sadly, she was right. Justin would've had it on or at least by him. He always has that hoodie on him or somewhere in his sight. And he just gave it up like that?
"Don't believe me? Smell it"
She shoved the hoodie at my face. It smelled of marshmallows and cologne. I refused to believe this. Justin wouldn't give his hoodie up.
"Still don't believe me? Listen to this"
She shoved her phone at me.
"Hey, babe, I just wanted to say that I had fun last night. I'm hoping we can do it again. Call me back soon. Love you"
The voicemail played, and it sounded exactly like Justin. My eyes couldn't fight anymore, and a tear was slipped out.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I hit a soft spot? Maybe you should've lost more weight, you fat cow. Justin only married you, because he felt sorry for you. He likes me, because I'm skinny, I'm pretty, and I don't have disgusting scars on my skin....like some people"
Stephanie continued to insult me.
"Leave me alone"
I hated to cry in front of my worst enemy.
"Tell Justin that too. He'd be thrilled to leave your ass"
Stephanie walked away, leaving me teary eyed and mentally injured. Now, I have 1-2-3 more reasons to believe that Justin's cheating on me.
"This is the best I could find"
The nurse held up a large, black shirt.
"That'll do. Thank you"
I dried my eyes and entered the room again.
"There you are. I was about to go check on you"
Justin motioned me to sit on the bed.
"This is what they've got"
I handed the shirt to him. Justin put it on and nodded.
"Good enough. You ready to go, babe?"
Justin asked, and I unnoticeably flinched, because of the voicemail I just heard.
"Ok, let's go"
He took my hand with his bad arm. It seemed painless to him. I was quiet the whole way home, contemplating on the news I've just received from Stephanie.
"You know, when I said you really need to spend time with me, I meant it. You seem to be really into your mind right now"
Justin whispered and grinned playfully. I smiled back at him. It was a fake smile. We parked into our apartment building. Justin and I went into our apartment, bringing Drew with us of course. Once we got settled, I instantly fed Drew and bathed him. I'm sure he's been dying to be back home. I bit my lip nervously then decided to open my mouth.
"Justin?"
I glanced at Justin, who already took the shirt off.
"Hm?"
He looked at me.
"I was just wondering...do you have your hoodie by any chance?"
I was hoping he would say yes, so it wouldn't give me a reason to believe Stephanie.
"Uhm...no, I don't. I must've lost it when I was injured"
Justin's answer made my heart fall and mentally sigh in confusion and frustration.
"Why?"
Justin gave me a curious look.
"I was just wondering. I mean, you always have it"
I mumbled, full of doubt and confusion.
"I know. I guess it was time to let it go. I've had it for a while"
He shrugged, wincing softly. His words tempted me to believe Stephanie.
"I need a shower"
I sighed in disgust with myself.
"Me too"
Justin followed me. I knew part of the reason was because he thinks I'm gonna hurt myself. I was.
"I'll help you if you want"
I smirked at him.
"Oh, please do"
Justin unbuckled his pants. I didn't want to, but I took off my clothes too. Justin eyed me, making me feel uneasy.
"Sorry"
He gave me a pained smile.
"It's fine"
I leaned against his chest and felt sadness and shame overwhelm me. Am I ugly? Does Justin hate me? Justin started to rub his soapy hands over my body. I closed my eyes, battling the thoughts of him loving me and cheating on me. His fingers ran against my butt then tenderly rubbed my area. I moaned lightly, but I was so confused. I wanted to push him away, but should I just tell him what I heard? As nice as I could, I moved his hands away and started to be cautious of his wound. Justin's eyes narrowed, and he gave me a confused yet hurt look. I mentally cursed myself but continued. I washed the soap off his wet hair, careful not to disturb his wound. After we finished, I got out of the shower. It was quiet until I let him choose to dress in or out of the bathroom. He chose out then left me alone in the bathroom. I let out a small sigh and began changing. I played back my whole conversation with Stephanie, and my heart was aching painfully. I wanted to die. I wanted to end everything...but 2 people are holding me back. Justin and Drew. I had to find something to cut, scratch, harm myself with. I searched ever drawer and cabinet until the only object I found was my makeup mirror. I skillfully yet quietly broke it, sending pieces of glass on the bathroom rug. I collected the pieces and hid them underneath the rug. I used one to draw a line across my skin. "Fat cow" I swiped another cut on my skin. "Pig" I cut myself again. "Not good enough" I made one last cut before hiding it underneath the rug and bandaging up my wrist. It took a while to calm myself down, but I eventually did. I changed then walked out.
"Christie, are you ok?"
Justin pulled me to him.
"Yea...just a little scared"
That was only half a lie.
"I know what you want, but, Christie, I can't give you that. I won't give you anything that you could hurt yourself with"
He held me close. I nodded, feeling guilty for cutting myself just a minute ago. I decided to take a nap, get some more sleep. Justin slipped beside me and wrapped his warm arms around my waist. I wanted to push him away so badly, because I wanted to think. I wanted space. Justin didn't have his hoodie but Stephanie did. Did he give it to her? Did she steal it? What about the voicemail? Was it really Justin? I mean, it was related to the text I saw. Could it be Jason? Or does Justin think it's ok to cheat on me, because he can blame it on his twin? I pulled away from Justin, thinking about how I'm probably not the only one. I didn't look at Justin, but I could only imagine the hurt look on his face.

(A/N: Justin's gonna be on Ellen! Yes! Next post is on Sunday)

Vote💭