If I Die... (Final Ending to Deadly in Love)

Chapter 36

(A/N: ATTENTION: I'm gonna me skipping some, so pay attention to the time. I don't want you guys confused 😁👍)

-3 days later-
(Christie's pov)
Justin's not here. I don't know what to think of that. I don't want to see him, but I want him to be ok too. In other words, I don't want him in the hospital, because he got hurt or anything. I just don't want to look at him, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss him. We need time apart, but 3 days is enough. I want to talk to him, but I don't want to look at him. It sounds stupid, but that's what pain does to you. Khalil, Ryan, and Za have been looking for Justin, but none of them were successful. It makes me nervous, because i hope Justin's not hurt, physically. I'm still in the hospital, and thanks to Justin, the nurses are forcing me to eat. I hate it, and I would rather die. I don't know why I'm stressing over Justin. I mean, he doesn't even want me in his life anymore. My mind has been experimenting with different suicide plans. So far, I've come up with: cutting myself again, cutting off my oxygen, and overdosing on random medications. They're stupid plans, but they'll work. I just want to end my life, so everyone can be happy.
"You're Christie, right?"
An unfamiliar lady entered the room.
"Yes, why?"
I glanced at the others who were sitting in the room.
"Are you aware that you'll be transferred to a different hospital to treat your disorders?"
Her words made my heart drop from hearing the word "disorders".
"Uhm..."
I wanted to hide in the covers and never come out.
"You're gonna need to speak to her husband about that. He'll be back soon."
Khalil backed me up.
"Ok, tell me when he's back."
The lady said before leaving the room. I sunk into the hospital bed and hid my face.
"Don't worry about that, Chris. Justin'll be back soon."
Ryan spoke kindly. I don't want to talk to Justin right now. He's a dick.
"C'mon guys, let's look around again."
Za stood up; then they left the room to look for Justin.
"It's gonna be ok, Christie."
Stacy and the girls walked to me.
"I don't know what to do."
I broke into tears into Drew's blanket.
"What happened with Justin?"
Brie asked, but I didn't mind her question.
"We just fought, and I told him to leave."
I sobbed and held Drew closer.
"I'm sure you guys will work it out. Don't stress about it, Christie. You're not going anywhere until Justin comes back."
Kayla rubbed my shoulder comfortingly. I nodded then dried my eyes.
"Do you want us to go?"
Stacy asked with concern. I shook my head, unable to trust myself alone. I've been needing to cut myself, but I don't want to. If I'm left alone, I can't say I'm gonna control myself.
"Ok, we'll let you rest, honey."
Brie patted my hand before they sat in the room chairs. Drew stirred slightly against my embrace, and I smiled. I closed my eyes, hoping Justin would be here when I woke up. If not, then I guess he does want me to die.
-2 weeks later-
(Justin's pov)
I can't go back to Christie. I just can't. She hates me more than she hates herself, and that's pretty bad. I basically fucked it all up. Christie and Drew were the best things that ever happened to me. I didn't mean to put my hands on her like that, but she should've known better. She knows exactly how to piss me off, yet she did it anyway. But if anyone should be sorry, it's me. I need her so bad, and I just want to hold her again. On the other hand, Jason hasn't done anything in a while, which means he's gotta be up to something. It was Jason who fucked everything up in the first place. We were so happy living in a nice house with everything we needed. Everything was fine until Jason came along. Stupid motherfucker. I'm not sure where I'm at, but I'm in the car. I drove off somewhere random just to get away. I don't even know if I know my way back. I kinda just wanna give up on love, but I also just want Christie back.
(Christie's pov)
Justin has not been back for 2 whole weeks! I'm not ok. I'm really not ok. I'm worse. I'm under fucking supervision, because I tried to kill myself again. I almost got a hold of pills, but one of the nurses caught me. Everyone is trying to make me eat, but I don't want to. I've cut myself twice, but it's difficult when I have people watching me. The nurse says I have to immediately go treat my "disorders", but I convince them to wait a little bit longer. Plus, I told them I was pregnant. My stomach hurts a lot, and sadly, it is confirmed that I am pregnant. I don't know what to do without Justin. I give up. I need him. I forgive him, and I just want him so much. I need him here, because I can't do this on my own. Its 10pm right now, and I'm in the bathroom. My friends and nurses were outside, waiting for me to come out. I somehow got the advantage to get a hold of a razor. There were bandages at the sink for me to use as well. I cut my skin, causing blood to drip out. Justin would kill me, but he already tried to do that. I finished up then opened the door to collide into a warm, marshmallow-scented body.
"Christie, I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I know I was wrong, but I just need you. I need you here, because I'm going crazy. I'm a wreck without you, baby. I love you so much, and I'm sorry for hurting you."
Justin started to cry and hug me gently. I was surprised to see him here, but I hugged him back with the razor in my hand. I was nervous yet sad, and I cried too.
"It's ok, Justin."
I rested my head on him as his arms enveloped me with carefulness. Suddenly, I felt the blade cut my finger; then I winced and dropped it. It made a small clink on the floor, causing Justin to finally sense my nervousness.
"Justin..."
I cried harder as he broke the hug to look at what dropped. When he saw the razor, his expression was so hurt, and he sighed in distress.
"...I'm sorry."
I cried and watched him pick the piece of metal up.
"I have to do this, Christie."
He gave me a look of sorrow and raised his sleeve.
"Justin-no, please, don't."
My heart dropped, and I cried my hardest. Please, not again.
"You have to stop hurting yourself, baby."
Justin pressed the razor on his skin, and I begged him to stop. It was useless, because blood started to leak from the cut he made. I closed my eyes and cried, my head going numb.
"How many times did you cut?"
Justin questioned, holding a paper towel to his forearm.
"Stop, Justin."
I cried desperately and begged.
"Answer me, Christie!"
He stepped closer with tears in his eyes.
"Justi-"
"How many tim-"
"Two!"
I cried painfully and sunk to the floor in tears. I waited for him to finish the damage...but I felt him hold me instead.
"What am I gonna do with you, babygirl?"
Justin cried with me and lifted me in his arms. I cried and sobbed as he led me out of the bathroom and onto the hospital bed.

(A/N: Can I pleez meet Justin?😭 Next post is on Thursday. Love u😘)