If I Die... (Final Ending to Deadly in Love)

Chapter 33

Video works but it's slightly high pitched ^^^^
Chapter song: Together by Demi Lovato feat. Jason Derulo
(Justin's pov)
I swallowed hard and sighed in aggravation. I was mad yet hurt at the same time. There's no way in hell I'm gonna let Christie go through with this.
"Christie, I can't let you do that."
I looked at her seriously.
"I don't want to kill an innocent baby. It's not right."
She argued stubbornly.
"Ugh, Christie, can't you see? You won't make it. If the baby lives, what's gonna happen then? You won't even be alive. Am I supposed to take care of my brother's baby?"
I spoke with frustration and pain.
"I don't know, Justin."
Her voice started to crack. I sighed again then cupped her face in my hands.
"Christie, I don't know if this is a suicide attempt, or if you don't want to commit abortion, but you need to cut it out. Think about us. I need you, Drew needs you, the people standing outside the door need you. I don't wanna lose you, Christie. I will not let you die, because of that bastard. If you commit abortion, it will save your life. You won't be guilty of anything, Christie. Listen to me, Christie. Please."
I was on the verge of tears, and I hated it.
"...But what about the bab-"
"Who cares about the fucking baby?! The baby is not yours! Listen to me! You WILL die, Christie! Get it through your fucking-"
I stopped before I said anything else. Christie looked hurt and a little scared of me.
"Get it through your head"
I sighed then walked out the door.
"Justin, is everything o-"
Khalil said, but I already slammed the door and made my way outside. I'm so tired of her. She confuses me to death, and I just want her to be ok for once. Seeing Christie happy is all I want, even if I have to put my whole heart in it.
I have a list of things to get done, and killing Jason is the first one. The second one is to get Christie better. The third one is to get Drew safe. I hate Jason. He deserves to die. I'm so fucking tired of him threatening and hurting us.
"Hey, Bie-"
Something touched my shoulder, so I quickly swatted it away in alarm. It was just Khalil.
"Woah, are you ok?"
Khalil seemed alert and concerned.
"Yea, I'm just kind of...watching my back a lot."
I wouldn't say it was the complete truth, but it was still true.
"We all are..."
He sat on the bench by the door.
"...I heard the news about Christie. Damn, I feel for you, Bieber. Your brother is such an asshole. Christie doesn't deserve that."
Khalil's words made me want to light a cigarette, but I didn't. I know better.
"I want to kill Jason. I don't care about consequences."
I muttered in irritation.
"We will...but Christie really needs you right now, Bieber."
He spoke, and I know it was true.
"Did I hurt her feelings?"
My voice was soft and full of worry.
"...She'll be fine. The girls are cheering her up."
Khalil didn't answer my question, but by his words, I'm guessing it was a yes. I'm constantly fucking things up.
"Every fucking time."
I sighed, tugging aggressively at my hair.
"Don't feel bad, Bieber. You two are going through a lot, and it doesn't take much to hurt someone's feelings."
Khalil was right. Christie can't handle getting yelled at right now, especially by me.
"I'm gonna talk to her."
I stood up and headed inside. I'm guessing Christie wanted to be alone now, because everyone was outside the door. Ugh, why did they leave her alone? If they should learn anything, it's to not leave a suicidal girl by herself. I can picture her attempting suicide again or cutting. But when I walked in, she was just sleeping. Drew was in her arms, in a peaceful sleep. They look so perfect. I'd break if they died. I slipped next to her, taking Drew into my arms, so she wouldn't accidentally let him out of her hold. I put my other arm around Christie's shoulders. She mumbled something about being fucked up, but I couldn't make all the words out. All I know is that those were my words. I'm the one who even gave her the idea that she was fucked up. I still feel like crap for saying that to her.
"I'm sorry, Christie."
I softly kissed her temple. Drew started to moan and whimper in my arms. I looked down at him and caressed his small back. His caramel yet dark chocolate brown eyes looked in mine. The happy smile on his face made me smile too. He made small baby noises and reached for my face. I leaned closer for him to touch my cheek with excitement. Christie moaned and shifted under my arm. Drew started laughing cutely and grabbed my bottom lip. I chuckled; then Christie started to giggle. I guess Drew woke her up by accident.
"Hey, baby"
I removed Drew's hand from my mouth and pecked his head.
"Hey"
She gave me a weak smile, and I stroked my fingers down the scar on her jaw.
"How do feel?"
I asked her with concern.
"On the inside or the outside?"
Her voice was tired and obviously hurt.
"Both"
I continued stroking her jaw with my thumb as I listened to her.
"Justin...If you really wanted to help me...why do you think I'm fucked up?"
Christie asked with hesitation and sadness.
"I don't. I told you I didn't mean what I said, Christie. If anything, I'm the one whose fucked up for even bringing that on you."
I spoke as she broke eye contact.
"...Can I tell my feelings to you? Will you get mad?"
She asked, her eyes blinking back tears.
"Tell me whatever you feel. I promise I won't get mad."
I muttered since our voices were lowering down.
"...I really hate myself. I feel like I'll never be good enough for anyone. I've been treated like crap for most of my life, and I'm used to it. I try to help myself, but I can't be happy. How can I be happy, Justin?"
Her words made every inch of my heart bleed and break. I couldn't speak, because I didn't want to break down. I never thought of it that way before. She never explained it this way.
"You can start by looking at the good in life, the good in yourself."
I swallowed hard and pulling her in.
"I know it's hard, babe, but everything's gonna be alright."
I held her close to my chest. We stayed like that for a while.
"Are you mad at me?"
Christie broke the silence.
"About what?"
I didn't let her pull away from me.
"About...having the baby."
Her voice lowered, but I heard her just fine.
"No, I'm not mad at you. I just wish you could see that you won't be doing anything wrong if you don't have the baby."
I hated the thought of my wife being pregnant with my brother's baby.
"I know, but it doesn't feel right. I won't be able to live with myself if I commit abortion."
She sounded sad and helpless. The last thing she needs is more guilt on top of suicidal thoughts.
"That means I'm gonna lose you."
I wanted to break down. My throat was caving in on me.
"You don't know that, Justin."
Christie held me closer, wincing in the process.
"I knew last time."
I remembered when she almost died when having Drew.
"Justin, I want to do this. Please, let me do this. Please."
Christie pulled away to beg me with her tear filled eyes. My answer was no...but I nodded anyway. In my head, I was crumbling to pieces. My heart felt like it was being ripped apart slowly and painfully.
"Justin"
Christie's voice sounded worried.
"...It's ok. You should eat something."
I know I'm gonna have to give her the whole you-need-to-eat lecture again. But I didn't bother, because she's gonna die either way.

(I can't wait for the WAUN music video😁 Next post is on Thursday😋)

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