Starting Over: rewrite

Duchess and Her Pawn

Thank you for always supporting me. I know it takes me a long time to come out with new chapters for the rewrite but I hope it's worth it. I try to write chapters that you haven't read in the previous books and that's difficult to come up with sometimes but I feel like this new chapter will do some justice.

"Wait hold up." Nate keeps up with me no matter how much I try to lose him in the crowd.

"Nate not right..."

"Yeah, when is it the right time to talk Ella? You always find a reason to run and avoid talking to me."

"Well, you literally had your tongue down my step-sister's throat so..."

"That with...that was not what it looked like." He tries to defend. I find him looking at my stomach and I smack his shoulder.

"You can stop staring. You're not going to see anything. CeCe picked this dress specifically for that reason." I scold him.

"I just...what happened between us E? We...it can't just be what I said at the wedding. I..."

"What do you not get about being seventeen and pregnant!" I whisper yell at him so that no one else can hear us. "I...every day I am freaking out about how I'm going to make it. I...how I'm going to finish school with my friends and my brother and...how I'm going to raise this baby with or without Carter."

"Wow is he not stepping up? Because I will kick his ass!" He declares.

"No he...he's been to every major doctor's appointment and always answers my calls and visits as much as he can but...our relationship has been over for a while. I think we grew apart and...this baby...I want it to be loved no matter what. I don't want what happened between Carter and me to keep my baby from knowing how much it is loved." I explain to Nate.

"Ella...I...I have so much I want to pour out to you but there's this giant wall I can't seem to get through and I just to tell you how much you mean to me." He tries to grab my hand but I pull away.

"But could you still have those feelings when I'm about to become a mom? My priorities are going to be different because I want to be better than how my dad raised Chuck and me. I want to be heavily involved with my child's life. I don't want my child to be raised by nannies and only thought of when college acceptance letters come around."

"And I admire that about you because you are...you're amazing, smart, beautiful and..."

"I don't understand where these feelings are coming from Nate. I just don't understand. You have always been my brother's best friend and my best friend's boyfriend for the longest time. And now I'm supposed to..."

"Is it so hard to believe I may have the biggest crush on you for years?!"

"What?!"

"Yeah, you heard me! Eloise Ophelia Bass you have...evaded my every thought and dreams since the sixth grade. I never acted on anything because you're right you are my best friend's sister and...but at some point, my crush turned into real feelings. Feelings I can no longer ignore. And...the night of the cotillion you...I've never seen someone look more beautiful and...I couldn't stop thinking about you."

"I..."

"Screw it." Nate lunges and suddenly his lips are latched onto mine and all air is sucked out of me. It's like there is a fire lit inside of me the moment Nate's lips touch mine. I can't think straight and nothing else matters. I find myself needing to hold onto his shoulders to keep myself from falling to the ground from my knees buckling. Finally, Nate pulls away allowing us both to breathe. We rest our foreheads against each other. "Tell me you didn't feel anything when I kissed you and I will walk away gracefully but if you feel a tenth of what I feel for you then you should know how real this is." I open my eyes and all I find myself is getting lose in Nate's. I never once realized how breathtakingly blue they are.