Kpop Little Space Oneshots || ✔

Horrible || Monsta X

⚠TW BODY DYSMORPHIA⚠
I've based the body dysmorphia on my own personal problems with my body, and everyone is different!

    Chae Haewon and Lee Minhyuk are best friends. They've known each other for years and have always lived close to one another. During their seventh-grade year, Haewon discovered something about herself. Something big. It is the fact that Haewon is, well, trans. There are a billion other ways that I could say it, but it'd all mean the same thing. That and the little space, but we'll get to that.
    When Hyungwon, Haewon's new name, came out to Minhyuk as trans, the latter wasn't anything but supportive. "You're my best friend, and I love you. Nothing's gonna change that." That's what Minhyuk had told him in all seriousness, something that wasn't common for the bubbly male. Hyungwon had burst into tears, slipping and revealing that secret too. Minhyuk was supportive of that as well.
    Minhyuk and Hyungwon's relationship evolved into a platonic caregiver and little one. They now do almost everything together, as Hyungwon is in little space a lot, and hold each other close to their hearts. Many people mistake them for lovers, but I'll let you in on a secret. Not all soulmates are romantic.
    Now that I've set the stage, here's our problem.
    Despite all of his efforts, sometimes Hyungwon worries that he doesn't pass well enough. Minhyuk, however, is always there to reassure him, and it usually helps a lot... Usually. Today Minhyuk had to go to work early, not wanting to wake Hyungwon up at five in the morning, but made breakfast for his little then left for work.
    It was around eleven when the little woke up, knowing it was a day that he could sleep in. When Hyungwon woke up he could feel it in his bones. Sitting up, the ravenette blinked slowly, trying to figure out what was off. Chalking it up as nothing to worry about, he got up to get dressed. While walking to the closet, Hyungwon caught sight of himself in his full-length mirror and froze. His eyes were glued to the mirror, body dysmorphia kicking in hard.
    With his shirt hanging off of his shoulder slightly, he noticed how narrow they were. Through the short-sleeved shirt and shorts, he could see how slim he was and, before he could stop himself, he pulled his shirt tight against his body. There they were, not visible unless you were looking for them but oh so visible to him.
    Curves.
    All too suddenly everything about Hyungwon seemed too feminine to him. Tears filled his eyes but didn't fall while he slowly wrapped his arms around himself. With a shaky breath, the little walked to his closet to get it. It being an overly-large hoodie that he used during such occasions. It's a black hoodie about three or four sizes too big, big enough to hide his body.
    After putting on the comfort item, some fluffy socks, and some sweatpants, Hyungwon made his way out of his room. Sitting in the corner of the couch and bringing his legs to his chest, the little sighed shakily. He wrapped his arms around his knees and stared at the floor.
    The little sat there for who knows how long staring at the floor while caught in his head. Hyungwon couldn't stop seeing his body in the mirror, loud thoughts filling his head. While stuck in his mind he didn't hear the front door open, didn't hear Minhyuk pad into the room, didn't hear him calling out, "I'm home!"
    Minhyuk took notice of the hoodie and sweatpants, smiling a little sadly before sighing. He walked over to where Hyungwon was staring, crouching down and waving. Hyungwon slowly looked up to meet Minhyuk's eyes with his teary ones. "There he is! Are you having a tough day?" Nodding with tears filling his eyes, the little watched Minhyuk get up and sit next to him.
    "Do you wanna talk about it?" Hyungwon nodded again. Minhyuk patted his lap, waiting for Hyungwon to crawl over and get situated before wrapping his arms around his little. "What's up angel?" Hyungwon took a deep breath, trying to fend off a panic attack. "Right now? I'm either about to slip or have a panic attack... Maybe both... Today it's- it's horrible," he said, tears falling and breath quickening. "I've never had a pa- panic attack in little space!
    I can't- I don't wanna-" Hyungwon's breathing turned from quick, sharp breaths into erratic, shaky ones. This was always the first tell-tale sign of one of Hyungwon's panic attacks. "Hyungwon? Angel, look at me." Lifting his head from Minhyuk's chest, the little looked his caregiver in the eyes. "Are you little?" Nodding quickly, Hyungwon's eyes were confused and afraid.
    "Alright angel, listen to me. Listen to my voice. You're having a panic attack and I'll tell you what that is but first, you need to breathe like I do, okay?" "O- okay..." Minhyuk took a deep breath, Hyungwon trying to do the same. His breath was choppy, cut off with a sob. "It's not working!' Calmly, Minhyuk placed a hand on either side of Hyungwon's face.
    Minhyuk's gentle, calming eyes never left Hyungwon's, keeping the younger focused on him. "It'll work angel, just keep going." Hyungwon nodded, following Minhyuk in taking another deep breath. "That's it, you're okay." With more warm words of encouragement, Hyungwon's breathing was almost back to normal. "Can you wait right here? I'll be right back with some stuff to help," Minhyuk asked.
    After grabbing Hyungwon's weighted blanket and lavender-scented stuffie, Minhyuk made his way back into the living area. "Here Wonnie, come here." Hyungwon climbed back into Minhyuk's lap, the latter laying the blanket on top of them. Hyungwon finally relaxed, hugging his stuffie to his chest and taking deep breaths.
    "That's my good little angel," Minhyuk praised, running his hands through the younger's hair. "Hyukie?" Hyungwon sat up to face his caregiver. "What a panic attack? I don't like it..." Minhyuk hummed, playing with Hyunwon's hair while coming up with an explanation. "Well... Do you know what anxiety is?" The little shook his head.
    "It's kinda like being scared in a way, and when that feeling gets to be too much to handle, you start panicking. It's like your mind is attacking you. For you, that means you can't breathe right, and you get scared. If it gets bad, you might even shut down. You've only done that once, though, so don't worry."
    Hyungwon nodded, trying his hardest to understand what he'd just been told. With some more explaining from Minhyuk, he finally understood. "Why big Wonnie feelin' so bad?" he asked his caregiver. Minhyuk smiled a little sadly, softly brushing his fingers against Hyunwon's cheeks. "Because he didn't think he looked enough like a boy... Because his thoughts," he tapped the little's temple. "Told him so."
    Everything was so confusing to the little. "But why? I not look like a girl!" Minhyuk nodded. "You don't. But to big Wonnie, sometimes you don't look enough like a boy, and it doesn't matter that you don't look like a girl." Hyungwon nodded, wanting to ask a billion more questions but being too tired to do so. "I jus' want cuddles," Hyungwon said quietly. Minhyuk smiled softly, tightening his arms around his little. "Then cuddles you'll get."