Kpop Little Space Oneshots || ✔

Why? || BTS

⚠TW Self-Harm⚠

    Jin has a secret.
    No, not his little space.
    Big Jin has fallen victim to self-harm.
    "I'm not beautiful... Stop calling me that..." he whispered. Jin was sitting on the cold floor of the bathroom, tears rushing down his emotionless face. Today, he'd been called beautiful by strangers ten times. Looking down at the blade in his hand, he brought it to his wrist.
    Press.
    Drag.
    "Ten."
    A cut for every time he was complimented by a stranger. Jin sat there, staring at the fresh marks on his skin. "I'm not beautiful, I'm broken," he said, breaking out into sobs. His boyfriend, Namjoon, was going to be home any minute. Not even remembering that could give Jin the strength to stop crying and clean himself up.
    A faint opening and closing of the front door was heard, Namjoon calling Jin's name. "Joonie..." Overwhelmed with everything, Jin slipped. Sobbing even harder, the little looked down at his arms to see why they hurt. Seeing his blood-covered arms struck a deep fear in him. "Joonie!" he shrieked, fast footsteps immediately rushing to the bathroom door.
    Namjoon tried the knob, it was locked. Big Jin, not wanting to take any risks, had locked the bathroom door. "Jinnie? Baby? Open the door," Namjoon said, voice muffled by the only thing separating them. "Joonie! Help! I'm sc-scared!" Jin wailed, not knowing what to do. "Hang on! If you can, get away from the door!" Jin pushed himself backward using his feet until his back touched the bathtub.
    Jin continued sobbing loudly, screaming for Namjoon to help him. He was terrified. Suddenly, the door flew open. Namjoon had kicked it in. "Baby!" he exclaimed, rushing over. "J-Joonie!" The little held out his arms, crying harder when he saw them. "What happened?" Namjoon asked quickly, trying to calm himself down. "I don'- don' know! I'm gonna die!"
    Namjoon looked around, standing and grabbing the first aid kit from the shelf above the toilet. "You aren't gonna die, Jinnie. Let me clean you up," he said calmly. Jin sobbed, shaking his head once he saw the rubbing alcohol. "It hurts! Gonna hurt more!" he said, cradling his arms to his chest.
    Despite being confused and scared himself, Namjoon took control of the situation, trying to calm Jin down. "Come here," he said, sitting down and patting his lap. Jin crawled over, ignoring the pain in his arms. All he wanted right now was to be held. "I know you're scared baby, but I need to clean you up eventually. Wouldn't it be better to do it now?" Jin frowned, tears still running down his face. "Okay," the little agreed hesitantly.
    After Namjoon cleaned Jin's arms, the two went and sat on the couch. "Baby... Do you have any idea what happened?" Namjoon asked, looking down at the little in his arms. "I think... I think big Jinnie did it," Jin said. Namjoon had already thought of that but hoped it had been something, anything else. "Why did big Jinnie do that?" Jin asked quietly, confused. "I don't know, baby..."

    The next morning, Jin woke up big. He had stayed in little space the rest of the day, not wanting to answer the inevitable questions. "Are you awake?" Jin tensed, feeling Namjoon's arms tighten around him. "I know you are... We don't have to talk about it just yet, but you know we will eventually." Turning around in Namjoon's hold, Jin studied the younger's expression.
    Namjoon's face was calm, despite his inner turmoil, gentle, and inviting. Jin didn't know what to say. Even though he knew Namjoon would understand, he didn't know how to explain why he did what he did. He felt even worse knowing his little self had seen it and been the one to deal with it. He was scared of how Namjoon would react, angry at himself for letting this happen, and sad because of the situation at hand.
    "I think I'd just like a hug for right now..."
    Namjoon nodded, pulling Jin closer and holding him tighter. Jin buried his face in Namjoon's neck, trying to forget about everything for just a moment.
    The two ended up going back to sleep, not waking up for another hour or so. When they did, nothing was said for a couple of minutes. The two simply sat up and cuddled, basking in each other's presence. But, after thinking about it thoroughly, Jin decided enough was enough. "Joonie... I'm sorry," he said quietly. Tears came to his eyes at the thought of Namjoon being disappointed. The older sniffled quietly, trying not to draw attention.
    "What're you sorry for?" Namjoon asked, stroking Jin's hair. Jin shook his head. "Everything..."

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