Perfectly imperfect |Mattia Polibio|

Part 25

Celeste pov

I guess it was normal for Mattia to get tons of notifications. But for me it wasn't at all.

I saw I had a lot of private messages from people, and I was getting tagged in a lot of things. I wasn't sure what any of this was for so I started reading them.

It all started from a post made by Jasmine and I started to feel anxious because I knew what it'd be about.

This wasn't going to be good.

" hope you're having fun with my boyfriend you whore. I hope you're happy with yourself for ruining a 4 year relationship. And I hope once Mattia gets what he wants from you he'll come running back to me."

What?

Why would she even-

Is that the kind of person she thinks I am?

I didn't ruin a 4 year relationship, Mattia ended things with her. Non of this was my fault.

And what did she mean, he'll go back to her when he gets what he wants?

I thought he liked me, so what other possible thing could he want from me besides me?

Was I missing something from all this?

I started to look at the private messages I was getting from people at my school, telling me how I was a slut for doing what I did.

My eyes widened a little when I saw the threats from people saying they were ready to hurt me for what I apparently did to ruin our high schools 'it' couple.

Some were even telling me to kill myself.

I felt a little stupid right now for even thinking that things between Mattia and I would ever work out. Jasmine obviously wasn't ready to let him go, and I forgot that Mattia and jasmines relationship comes with accessories.

Whether they were both happy with the break up or not, the whole school was going to hate me. Because in their eyes I'm seen as someone who broke them up. Someone who ruined them.

Mattia got closer to me, " look I can fix this," he said putting his hand on my shoulder, " I'll talk to her and I'll sort this out-"

" this is my fault," I said holding my head. I started to pace around, " I never should've gotten too close to you and mess things up like this." I palmed my face, " I should've realised we could never be together like that,"

I should've just stayed away from him. I should've stuck to my plan, which was to watch and admire him from afar.

" you don't mean that," mattia said shaking his head a little.

" I do," I said nodding, I should've used my fucking brain and stayed away.

It's like one of those movies where the main character ends up liking someone else, and they think that they're the better option. But that changes because the protagonist's end up back together in the end anyway.

It didn't matter what Mattia said because I was just some bump in the road of his and jasmines relationship. Some sort of stepping stone for him to overcome, and he'll realise that he was supposed to be with Jasmine all along.

He looked at me pityingly, " Celeste please don't say that. I know you don't mean it,"

" how would you know?" I asked him, feeling somewhat irritated that I didn't think of this rationally. I let my heart lead instead of my end and I played myself.

" because of your diary-" he stopped speaking and he cupped his mouth, his eyes widening becasue of how easily he let that slip out.

I was frozen in place and I felt as if my worst nightmare had come true, " what?" I walked a little closer to him. My emotions were going haywire because he was never even supposed to know that existed." how do you even know about that?"

He sighed and he held his head, " I was cleaning the lost and found cupboard and I found it. I read some of it am I knew whoever owned it liked me a lot. I didn't know whose it was but I found out later on it belonged to you,"

He's known this whole time?

He's known this whole fucking time that I've been crushing on him for years?

Forget crushing, that I was in love with him. That I've been longing to be with him for almost half my life?!?

My eyes started to water a little and wiped them quickly. Everything about him being here and wanting to be with me made so much sense now, " so that's the reason you took interest in me?"

I was stupid enough to believe it was anything else.

Now I know what jasmine meant by him coming back to her after he gets what he wants.

I was disgusted that someone like him would even think of that, but that's my fault isn't it?

It's my fault for blinding myself, and making him perfect in my eyes.

" So you were just trying to get closer to me just to get what you want?" my eyes were getting heavy with tears again, " you thought because I liked you, I'd be some quick and easy person to fuck?"

He looked shocked and he started to shake his head, " no Celeste, it's not like that I-"

" don't even try making excuses now Mattia," I said interrupting him. I held up my phone, " I was the fucking loner, the quiet kid and now the whole school is blasting up my phone. I'm getting death threats from people I barely know all because they think I ruined your relationship!"

Tears were streaming down my face and I can't believe I was about to let myself get used like that. And above all from him.

He started to walk closer to me, " Celeste I-"

" get away from me," I said moving back, " I should've just stayed away from you like I planned. I should've let myself be happy with the lies I told myself about you. Because now I know what you're like, what you're really like,"

My bottom lip started trembling again. God I must look like a complete idiot right now, having my heart broken by someone who doesn't even give a shit about me.

" I'd always think you were so perfect. That there never was anything bad about you that could push me away from liking you," I wiped my eyes, " I guess it's good I finally woke up and saw the real you,"

" Celeste please, let me-"

" just get out," I said to him, shaking my head a little, " Just-just leave,"

A tear rolled down my cheek and I held in the urge to fully cry, because I couldn't let him see me in such a vulnerable state again. No, never again.

I still couldn't believe he'd do this to me. I trusted him with so much, I let him in and it all backfired on me.

I knew it would, I warned myself ages ago and yet I still managed to let it happen.

" please," he said getting closer to me. I looked away from him, " let me-"

" leave Mattia," I said more seriously.

He looked upset that I wasn't listening to him. I turned around facing away from him and after a while I heard him walk out of my room, closing the door behind him.

As soon as he did I burst out into tears and I hated how nothing was going well for me right now.

Everything in my life was so messed up and I didn't know what to try and fix first.

I laid on my bed, curling myself into a little ball and I carried on crying my eyes out.

I was literally at rock bottom now. Everything was crashing down on me and I couldn't hold it up anymore. I'm not as strong as I was.

I didn't have a shoulder to cry on or something to lean on. I was my families rock, the only stability they had, but after today I realised I'm not as good of a rock as I thought I was.

****

Y'all better not judge her. You gotta put yourself in her shoes and understand she doesn't know the things you know. She doesn't know Mattia as well as you do, since she can't read about his private thoughts and shit.