Perfectly imperfect |Mattia Polibio|

Part 26

Mattia pov

My phone was still buzzing crazily and I was getting calls, no doubt from the boys.

I can't believe how messed up everything got, how Jasmine managed to fuck up everything instead of talking it out with me.

I got to my house and I went straight to my room, not wanting to see my parents right now. I didn't have it in me to hide how I was feeling , and I didn't want either of them to see me upset.

I didn't know what I was supposed to do now. My mind kept showing me how hurt she looked, and I felt so angry at myself because it was my fault she looked like that.

I couldn't believe she didn't think any of my feelings for her were valid, and that she thought I had lied to her just to hookup with her.

I knew now that she probably hated me and that fucking sucked because I had literally just heard her tell me she loved me, minutes before all this drama started.

Kai kept calling, and calling so I decided to answer it.

" finally, guys he's picked up," he said and I'm assuming the boys were with him, " mattia what's going on? What-"

I started to cry, and he stopped talking when he heard me sob a little.

I literally couldn't hold it in anymore.

She hates me now. Celeste fucking hates me.

I've never seen her look so heartbroken and in so much pain. I had just gotten her to trust me. I said that I'd be there for her for everything, but it was all meaningless after what Jasmine had said.

" mattia?" Kai said after a while.

I wiped my eyes, " can I call you back later?" I asked him, I didn't want to talk to him right now.

" yeah man, that's fine. You need anything?" He asked, in a soft tone.

" not right now Kai," I answered.

I put my phone down and I laid back down as more tears were falling out of my eyes.

I can't believe how badly this ended.

I was thinking of how upset she must be feeling right now. How she's probably crying to herself in her room, trying to contain her tears because she didn't want any of her siblings to know what she was going through.

She's such a strong person but I ruined her. I pushed her over the edge and made everything for her so much worse.

I should've stayed away.

I should've minded my own business instead of reading that diary. Maybe then things would've different now.

I thought about it but then I realised it wouldn't have mattered either way.

I would've still fell in love with her either way.

*****

I heard my room door open hours later, but I was too unbothered to sit up and even see who it was. It was more than one pair of footsteps, and they all came closer to my bed.

I had a feeling it was the boys and I knew they'd show up soon, it was natural for all of them to get worried about me.

I sat up and I felt like I owed them all an explanation of what's been going on. They were all looking at me with slight pity and concern and it made me feel so weak.

I've never really been in a position like this in front of them. Nothings ever gone so downhill for me like this.

Ale, Kai, roshaun, Robert and Alvaro all came and sat at the end of my bed.

" how you doing?" Ale asked.

" better," I got most of my tears out. I still had some sort of aching feeling in my chest though. I didn't think that was going to go anytime soon. I put my knees up and rested my arms on them, " I'm guessing y'all want an explanation?"

They all looked at each other and nodded.

I sniffled a little and explained to them all how I wasn't feeling it with Jasmine anymore. I apologised to ale and Kai for lying to them about everything being fine.

I told them how I ended up liking Celeste, and the reason I kept it from them all was because I was still confused with what I wanted.

They listened intently as I explained how my feelings for Celeste got worse and I realised I couldn't keep up the relationship with Jasmine anymore. That I really didn't give a shit about being an 'it' couple because it wasn't important to me. I didn't love her anymore so nothing was going to make me stay with her.

" why didn't you tell any of us about it?" Kai asked.

" I didn't think you guys would understand. Everyone thought things between me and Jasmine were perfect, but they weren't. Well not for me anyway." I looked down at my lap and as Celeste's face popped up in my head I smiled a little, " I didn't think you'd guys would understand that I wanted Celeste, that I fell in love with her,"

" so she didn't lead you on or anything?" Robert asked.

I shook my head, " she's not like that at all. She would never do anything like that. Jasmine lied and made all that up because she was upset I broke up with her."

I held my head in my hands, and sighed in relief. I felt a little lighter getting all that out of me.

" so what's happening now?" Alvaro asked, " does she not want to be with you?"

" she did," I said and I smiled a little remembering her say she loved me too. My expression changed remembering the events after, " but she thinks I'm some sort of fuckboy now. That I was only trying to hookup with her,"

I laid back on my bed not knowing what to do now.

" maybe talk to-"

" it's to late ale," I said interrupting him. They weren't there.

They weren't in her room with me.

They didn't see how heartbroken she looked and how her eyes were looking at me so hatefully.

I wiped my eyes again, " I've lost her,"

*****

Double update cause this chapter kinda short