All for you | Jesse Pinkman Fanfic

XVIII

The second the receptionist at the front desk told me what hospital room Jesse was staying in I ran to it, doing my best to dodge other visitors and doctors.

I opened the door and my stomach instantly dropped. I walked up to Jesse's bed with my hand covered over my mouth — I knew he'd be in rough shape but I hadn't expected it to be this horrible.

Jesse's face was covered with purple bruises, his one eye was swollen shut — to sum it up he looked like he'd be dragged through hell and back.

"Hailey, always a pleasure," Saul called out as I stood beside him, near Jesse's bed.

"Yeah... hi," I said brushing him off. "Jesse, holy fuck what happened?"

"Hank." Was all he said. I hear the anger in his voice.

"Of course is was fucking hank." I sighed, rubbing my hands together and if I could I would have found that bastard and swung on him myself.

"This right here is your get-out-of-jail-free card." Saul said as he showed a picture of Jesse's mashed-up face on his phone.

"Maybe you need to get me a get-out-of-jail-free card." I mumbled, grabbing Jesse's hand and rubbing circles with my thumb.

"No need mama bear." Saul chuckled. "The DEA'S worst nightmare is that face in the public eye. They'll have to steer a wide berth of young master Pinkman for fear of the PR poop storm that will rain down on them if this story ever gets out. I mean, this beating... best thing for you."

"You're—"

"Saul shut the fuck up." I said sternly, Jesse seemed to just be staring blankly at the both of us not actually in tune with our conversation  — or more so me yelling at Saul.

"Well I mean it's good, right?" Saul questioned, his eyebrow raised.

"You've got to be shitting me, good?" I scoffed, "He looks like Violet from charlie and the chocolate factory."

Saul titled his head with a chuckle. "I got Rockey vibes... but that I can see  — I'm getting a call, I'll be right back."

Saul left and I pulled up a chair and sat beside Jesse.

"Would you like me to leave?" I asked after the silence became awkward.

"No, but you can if you want." He said quietly. "You don't need to stay here because you feel bad."

"I'm here because I care."

"Why?" He asked me. "Why care after everything I've put you through? I mean I-I look at you all the time and can't help but wonder why me? I have to be the worst thing that's ever happened to you."

"The worse that happened to me was leaving you." I admitted. "I don't really know how I lived without you..."

"Stop caring!" He snapped, refusing to look me in my eyes. "All I do is fuck up everything for you, you always finish the fights I start—"

"That Mr.White starts." I corrected him.

"Me, Mr.White it's all the same... I am going to get you killed — the love of my life killed." He sighed.

"I'm the love of your life?" I whispered, my heart swelling like in those cheesy hallmark movies.

"Of course you are." Jesse said, looking at me quickly before looking away again. "I don't think I'll ever want anyone else—"

I wouldn't deny that I missed dating Jesse but I knew it wouldn't be a good idea. I tried to stay away but I couldn't. It was almost selfish of me to continue to come back but at the same time I knew I had to, look at what happens when I'm not. Maybe Saul was right, I am mama bear — how pathetically cute.