37 – Wish
Nanginig ang buong katawan ko kasabay ng pagwawala ng sistema ko. My vision was blurry because of the tears from my eyes. Umiling ako nang mariin, hindi pa rin tuluyang naiintindihan ang buong pangyayari dahil sa pagkabigla.
Spencer held me into his arms for a couple of seconds. Walang tunog ang pag-iyak ko habang nakasubsob sa kaniyang dibdib. Hinabol ko ang hininga ko at pilit na itinulak siya para harapin ang mga doktor.
They can't say that! They can't give me her heart because she's alive! She doesn't need to be let go. Monique will wake up and I won't have her heart!
"H-hindi. Hindi ako papayag. Hindi ko kukunin ang puso niya!"
The doctor frowned. "Agatha?"
Gritted my teeth and shook my head firmly. Nagpatuloy ang panginginig ng katawan ko habang pilit akong hinawakan ni Spencer para pakalmahin.
"Why?" The male intern asked. "You've waited long for this transplant and a heart is available now."
I clenched my jaw as my tears continued falling. Pati si lola ay gulat sa sinabi ng doktor tungkol sa donor. Even Carla had the hint. Hinawi ko ang kamay ni Spencer at muling pinagsalitaan ang doktor.
"Ang babaeng 'yon.." ani ko. "K-kaibigan ko ang babaeng sinasabi ninyo. Kaya hindi ako ang magiging dahilan ng pagkamatay niya!"
The girl intern's eyes widened. Umawang ang labi ng doktor at napatingin sa isa pang kasama. Spencer blocked my sight to make me look at him. Pero, hindi ko rin magagawa iyon ngayon. I am too mad to calm down. I can't stop the rage I am feeling.
"Hey.." he whispered and touched my face. "Please, calm down. I'll deal with this. I'll talk to them."
Pilit akong kumawala at dinuro ang mga doktor. "Umalis kayo rito! Wala kayong puso, ayoko kayong makita!"
Sinapo ko ang dibdib ko nang makaramdam ng kirot. Lumambot ang ekspresyon ng babaeng intern. She worriedly stared at me. Umiiyak akong umiling at kumapit nang mahigpit sa aking kumot.
"Hindi ninyo puwedeng dugtungan ang buhay ko sa pamamagitan ng pagkamatay ni Monique. Hinding-hindi ko magagawa iyon!"
Umupo si lola sa tabi ng kama at hinawakan ang pisngi ko para awatin at pakalmahin. The doctors couldn't speak. Malakas ang kabog ng dibdib ko habang hinahabol ang hininga ko. They can't just get her heart and give it to me. I won't be able to sleep at night knowing she died because of me.
"Apo.." umiiyak na awat ni lola.
Mahigpit na hinawakan ni Spencer ang magkabila kong balikat para pilitin akong tumingin sa kaniya. My shoulders were shaking because of anger and pain. Malalakas ang hikbi ko sa pag-iyak na ginagawa.
"I'm here. I'll deal with this, okay? You don't have to worry, I got this." He gently said.
Umiling ako at mahigpit na hinila ang damit niya. "Anong gusto nilang sabihin? Na mamamatay na si Monique kaya sa akin mapupunta ang puso niya, ganoon ba?"
I wanted him closer. I wanted him to be close to me to make him feel my frustration. I want him to tell me that she won't die. I am convincing him to tell me otherwise, but he didn't.
"Hindi ako masamang tao! Hindi ko pagsasamantalahan ang kahinaan ng iba para sa sarili kong kapakanan!" Umiiyak kong sagot.
Spencer firmly kissed my forehead and gripped my hand to remove it on his shirt. Tumayo siya at tinawag palabas ang mga doktor. Umiiyak akong umiling kay lola.
"A-apo, naiintindihan ko. Kumalma ka muna.." lumuluha niyang alu. "Nandito lang ako. Hindi kita pababayaan."
Agad niya akong hinila patungo sa kaniya upang yakapin ako. I cried to her as hard as I could while thinking of Monique. She's not dying. She has so much ahead of her and she's got her own family now. She can't die.
BINABASA MO ANG
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