EXTRICATE * lee jeno

『chapter』 『⁴⁴』

hⷦeⷨlⷮoͩiⷪsͬeⷮ

she awoke with a groan, her head hurting immensely. she recognised the bed she was lying on immediately as the one she had used many times before in the med bay.

getting up slowly, she eyed the flamingo picture beside her. she reached a hand up to her face and realised that there was something covering her eye. probably an eyepatch, she figured.

when she looked past the wall and outside the window, she saw that it was still dark out. and as she left the room, she couldn't feel anything but the urge to do it.

heloise finally found the dark alleyway at the outskirts of the underground.
"hi, he-" before he could finish she snatched the packet from his hands.

"are you sure you want to do that, heloise?"
she nodded, fishing out her lighter from her back pocket.

"you made a promise though..." he warned.
"taeyong, i don't really care. im gonna do it."
she inhaled sharply, breaking her almost two year sobriety.

the taste wasn't anything like the lollipops she had almost 24/7, but the crisp feeling at the back of her throat made her feel safe.

taeyong stalked off, probably to tell sena or someone what she was doing but she didn't care anymore. she didn't care about the promise she had made. it didn't matter if it was to a person who was no longer alive.

"heloise sohn!!!" she rolled her eyes at the voice which she knew was going to come.

sena picked the cigarette from between her lips and stomped it into the ground with her heel. "stop, you said you wouldn't do it anymore."

"i don't care what i said. i need this." she picked another one from the packet, but it was discarded on the floor before she could light it.

"fuck off, sena. there's no amount of lollipops that will make me feel better. everything is going so shitly, i don't need more people trying to control me."

she reached to take another one, but sena grabbed the whole packet and discarded of it, tipping its contents on the dirty concrete of the ground.

heloise bent down as if to pick up the cigarettes from the ground, but was then harshly pushed by the older.
"that's disgusting."
"fine then, i'll get drunk instead."
"hey, think of what estelle would say if she saw you like this."

"she wouldn't fucking say anything sena, because she's fucking dead. i don't care if she's watching for above. she should watch, and think of how horrible a person i am. at least then im certain that no one loves me."

☎

i tried, i tried really hard not to get sick- BUT I GOT SICK AND NOW MY VOICE IS SO NASALLY AS IF IT WASN'T ALREADY- AND ITS SUMMER AS WELL FUCK THIS MAN 💔