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"jeno, are you okay?"
he had told her to go on a walk earlier, so that she wouldn't be there for when he was eating with his members.
but when she came back, she could tell it hadn't gone well.
he was just there. a fork still in his hands and all four plates still out at the table, his chest heaving gently with deep angry breaths. his jaw was tight, almost as tight as his grip on that poor fork.
"hey, jeno. what happened? did something go wrong?"
he still didn't respond. he just looked off somewhere, possibly one of the plates or something she deduced when she followed his gaze.
"heloise..."
his voice wavered a little. "angel, you don't have to say anything if you don't want to."
she didn't want him to feel as though he was forced to explain anything. "i don't want to do it anymore."
she didn't know what it was, but something in her mind let go. a floodgate opened. concern rushing over her and she rushed equally as quickly to embrace him in a hug.
"jeno, baby, please don't hurt yourself-" "i don't mean like that, no, i still want to live, i think."
the girl wanted to sigh in relief. but she couldn't until she knew what he was going to say next. "but?"
she felt his inahle from the position of his head in her hair, and for a second hoped that her hair didn't smell bad. but that wasn't the topic at hand.
"but... but, i don't want to be an idol anymore. it's not what i want to do with my life. i don't care about singing or dancing or rapping or anything like that anymore. i don't want fans. i want to be left alone. and..."
he pulled away from her for a second in the misdt of his ranting, and she saw the glassy tears careering from his red eyes. she didn't want him to feel like that anymore. she wanted to kiss away his tears, and his pains.
but she didn't know how.
"and?" she asked reluctantly. scared for what he would say next. he wasn't in the right state of mind currently, she couldn't expect that anything he was about to say would be good.
"and, i want to love you."
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☎️
IM-
anyway good morning, i am hungry, and im working on finishing extricate bcs its very close to being finished bcs ifinally have all the plans done so im happy we're gonna be there soooon~
time to go to brunch soon tho so iwon't be hungry for long
