The Heart Wants What it Wants

Chapter 6: Friends

Chapter 6: Friends

Meredith was finally home being cared for by Cristina, who like her had accumulated too many hours so she was sent home. Though Izzie was at the house and was also doing better Meredith did not want to bother her so her person would stay. They both lay in bed awake but in silence. Despite her many attempts, Meredith was not able to see Addison before leaving the hospital. The attending had been busy with back to back emergency surgeries. Any attempts to get into the gallery were quickly shot down by Bailey. Meredith had been quite vocal about her annoyance about it therefore Cristina already knew. However as the blonde broke the silence once more she began to talk about the same thing once again.

"I just don't get why I couldn't just be there. I just needed a minute." Meredith said once more, waving her hands about.

"Here we go again." Cristina sighed.

"Why couldn't I see her before leaving?" Meredith asked again, drumming her fingers on her chest.

"Mer she had things to do. Mothers to help, babies to save. She was busy." Cristina repeated what she had already told her before.

"I could've waited." Meredith protested.

"And risk Bailey's wrath?" Cristina joked. "Nah I'm good."

"I just wanted to see her." Meredith said, desperation bleeding onto her tone.

"Ok, Mer. Speak." Cristina said, propping herself up on her elbow, facing Meredith.

"There's nothing to talk about." Meredith replied and turned her face away from Cristina.

"I know there is. I know you. What is happening to you with Satan?" Cristina questioned.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Meredith said, still not looking at her.

"Stop lying to me, Mer. I know something's happening with you and her. You're not very subtle when you're high. And you are painfully honest too." Cristina with a laugh at the end. "Also oblivious and childish. I hate hanging out with high people." She rolled her eyes.

"I... I don't know." Meredith said, still refusing to turn.

"Listen here, you." Cristina said, forcing her to face her. "If I have to endure your complaining about the same thing over and over I want to know what's what. So speak!"

Meredith was quiet for a few minutes as Cristina huffed annoyed. Taking a few deep breaths she centered herself and began to speak.

"Remember when you told me we don't choose who we love?" Meredith asked.

"Meredith." Cristina breathed out. "You really are into her aren't you?"

"How pathetic am I?" Meredith chuckled bitterly. "I've been falling for my boyfriend's ex-wife."

"Mer. We are way too complicated, aren't we?" Cristina said softening a bit.

"Complicated is an understatement. What the hell am I supposed to do?" Meredith asked as tears pricked her eyes.

"I don't know. But now it's not just a triangle, is it? You've got McVet, McDreamy, and McHot." Cristina listed the suitors.

"No McVet. My high self sent him away. As you said she's too honest." Meredith said her palm covering her face.

"Wait." Cristina chuckled a bit. "What did high Meredith do?" She asked excitingly.

"High Meredith told Finn that she was in love with Addison a bit more than she was with Derek." Meredith replied embarrassed. "And when he asked if I was in love with him she told him that she had tried but she could not."