The Heart Wants What it Wants

Chapter 28: Not A Nightmare But...

Welcome to beginning of the end. Sounds kinda ominous don't it? Hehe oops.

Meredith sat on her bed with her mother's diary and the pint of the strawberry ice cream her lovely girlfriend had left for her. She was pretty sure she had been stuck reading the same page over and over for the last thirty minutes. Glancing over when her phone vibrated with yet another message from Cristina bugging her she released a sigh as her eyes snagged on the other cell phone charging next to hers.

How could Addison be so careless? Actually she wasn't. She never forgot her phone, it practically held a great portion of her life, but Meredith knew she had left in a hurry. The fact that even though she had forgotten half of her life there and yet remembered to leave her ice cream made Meredith smile. Still she was sad though. After her surgery there were two more she had finagled her way into and when Addison had been able to call she was still in one of her surgeries.

Like a fool in love from one of Izzie's cheesy movies Meredith had saved the voicemail the redhead had left her and listened to it a couple of times since she had gotten back home. She didn't like that she was alone tonight. The bed felt empty and cold without Addison sprawled next to her. And everything was so very quiet without her usual humming. However, the loneliness and silence wasn't what had her rereading the same page over and over. What had her way too distracted was the conversation she'd overheard between Mark and Amelia before leaving the hospital.

Cristina had been walking her to the entrance when they spotted the two attendings deep in conversation. For a minute, Meredith thought they had been talking about the patient they had all just operated on so she walked towards them. As she and her person got closer, however, she found they hadn't been talking about the patient but Addison. They spoke softly about some job offer her girlfriend had received. The notion had her frowning and shaking her head but instead of interjecting she kept listening. Apparently, Addison's best friend had been hounding her for years to take a position in her practice. It seemed Addison had always refused, which eased Meredith's nerves for a while until Amelia spoke once more.

'But after everything she's lived through here... don't you think she'll want a change? Don't you think she deserves one? Derek hurt her a lot, Mark. Maybe this time she'll finally say yes.'

Amelia's words replayed over and over in her head even now that she sat in her bed with her pint of ice cream and in her girlfriend's hoodie. Amelia's words were the reason she couldn't manage to focus enough to finish reading the one page on her mother's diary. Amelia's words and Addison's strange behavior as of late.

What if she wants to take it but she's not because of me? What if she feels stuck? What if she wants to leave?

Meredith's dark and twisty was gaining the edge and she didn't know what to do. Her overreacting and anxiousness was unnecessary and she knew it. Addison had said it that morning. There was no other shoe to drop. But then what was it she needed to talk about? Why was it that Addison had been evading things? Meredith hadn't wanted to push her, she never would. Actually, she didn't really need to know she just wanted her girlfriend back here, on the bed, holding her tightly against her.

Meredith supposed listening to her voice over the phone, as she complained over the hot weather and the fact that the airport was a complete zoo, would make it a little better. When she reached for her phone and started to go to the voicemail she had saved, the phone began to ring loudly with an unknown number.

"Hello?"

"Baby girl! Hi. I miss you." Addison's voice rang through the line and Meredith felt like everything was alright in the world and the dark and twistiness was starting to fade.