The Heart Wants What it Wants

Chapter 21: I'm Not Ok

Chapter 21: I'm Not Ok

The car ride had been silent like many times before. Addison could feel Meredith glancing at her every so often but she was somewhat lost in her thoughts. Especially after Meredith had informed her Derek had been taken in. The uneasiness was still there, swirling around with fear and pain.

He was locked up and yet she felt him there, in the car next to them, in the dark alleyway, right behind her. She just felt him and she hated that she felt him. When had she become this feeble and pitiful excuse of a woman? Where was the strong and confident woman? The one that could not be fazed by anything, let alone a man. The one people had learned to respect and sometimes fear. Where was she?

"We're here." Meredith chirped next to her dragging her out of her thoughts and into the present.

"We are." Addison attempted a smile. She was failing even at that but Meredith thankfully did not push.

"Come on, Addie. I'm tired and hungry." The blonde smiled as she unbuckled and opened the door.

Addison followed suit, unbuckling and stepping out into the cool air. It seemed it would rain soon, the distinct scent in the air accompanied by the dark clouds overhead told her as much. She looked up, her mind drifting again as she stood there.

"Addie?" Meredith stood next to her.

"Hmm?" Addison looked at her.

"Did you hear me?" The blonde tilted her head.

"I'm sorry. I spaced out." Addison fumbled a bit.

"Well, I was telling you that I could eat a whole cow if you let me. Will you?" Meredith smiled and wiggled her brows.

"I guess if you want it badly enough I could be nice and let you." Addison shrugged. "Let's go before it starts to rain." She added and turned to leave.

They walked into the Archfield and the doorman greeted them cheerfully, winking at Meredith. Addison threw her a questioning glance but the blonde shrugged it off saying people knew her here now. She chuckled at her smugness and said she had only been here three times at most and that the doorman was just trying to hit on her, which earned her a pout.

***

Once in the room, Meredith went to grab the menu for the room service. She was worried over Addison but she dared not say anything. She had pushed enough for today so for now, she would just let her be. Though, if she was honest with herself, she was not too sure how long she would last without asking what was happening.

Addison sat at the edge off the bed as she undid the clasps of her shoes and so there she went to sit next to her. She opened the menu and gave her a silly smile, tilting her head.

"What?" Addison chuckled.

"I told you I wanted a cow." Meredith grinned.

"Right." Addison smiled back and furrowed her brow.

"I'll settle for a burger. Can we have burgers? A cheese burger with bacon." She pointed at the item in the menu.

"You want burgers? Really? From here?" Addison asked, amusement shining through her eyes.

"Yeah from here." She nodded. "Are they too expensive? I'll pay for them." She declared.

"Meredith, I have no issues with paying." Addison scoffed and grinned.

"Right. 'Cause you're rich." Meredith smirked.

"Be quiet. Just order the cheeseburgers." Addison pushed her playfully and chuckled.