The Heart Wants What it Wants

Chapter 9: Snuggles and Threats

Chapter 9: Snuggles and Threats

She was happy, content, over the clouds, with Addison safely sleeping in her arms. Last time this had happened she had been angry she could not stay with her until she woke up. This time she was here and she was not going to move until Addison did.

They had been in the on-call room for a while now. Thankfully no one had tried to barge in to interrupt their nap. At some point Addison had adjusted herself so that her head rested on Meredith's chest, her hands securely fastened around her waist. A tiny smile had appeared on her face where tears had been an hour before which made Meredith even happier.

A content sigh escaped the sleeping redhead's lips as Meredith brushed away some loose strands of hair away from her face. This was what she wanted. What she needed. It pained her to think that this might have just been a moment of weakness. Maybe Addison would have been ok with anyone but then...

"I don't know. I'm... I want to help... tell me what you need and I'll do it. Tell me who you need and I'll get them here. Just tell me what to do." Meredith had begged.

"You!" Addison had quickly replied.

She had said she wanted her. Over Derek, which was actually no surprise, but also over Mark. Addison had wanted her to stay. Maybe that meant something. Maybe it was fine to hope. Would it be ok to let herself hope, though? Would she get hurt again? Then again she was already on her way. She was already hoping, already believing that Addison might feel something, anything for her. "I don't hate you." Addison had said and if her blurry mind was correct she had really meant it. If she did not hate her then would she be ok to feel something else?

Meredith frowned, too many questions, too many thoughts when she should be enjoying her slumbering company. Hard as it was she shut her mind and focused on Addison's features. Her red hair, her soft and porcelain skin, her perfectly sculpted face adorned by those luscious pink lips. She was a work of art and just for this moment she was Meredith's work of art.

The moment was starting to end and Meredith was dreading it as her work of art began to slightly shift. Addison tightened her hold against her reflectively and buried her face on her neck. Meredith's breath hitched as she felt warm air brushing off against her. Yet she lay as still as she could manage trying to delay the inevitable. Slowly Addison's eyes fluttered open and Meredith held her breath as she lifted her head to look at her. The small smile she had had during her sleep widening a bit as their eyes met, until realization hit.

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Addison had rested so well, even after the run in with Mrs. Burns, she felt relaxed and airy. She reluctantly lifted her head from the warm pillow with a sleepy smile, only it was no pillow she had been laying on. How had she forgotten that she was with Meredith? She became flustered rather quickly as blue eyes landed on her with a sweet smile. She looked down and noticed her arms wrapped around the blonde. She completely froze at the sight, avoiding eye contact, as panic invaded her.

"Addison." Meredith's voice rang tentatively.

"I uh, umm." Addison stammered, still avoiding her.

"Ar-are you ok?" Meredith asked, shifting nervously.

"P-perfect." Addison managed to get out. "I uh should... uh..."

"You don't have to go if you don't want to." Meredith responded, her voice sounding even more unsure than before and tensing up.

Addison looked at her then. She could see the insecurities and concern swimming in her blue eyes, so she did the only thing there was to do, soothe her. She laid her head on Meredith's chest once more with a sigh  as she drew aimless circles on her arm. Slowly she felt as Meredith's tension began to ease, her muscles relaxing and her breathing evening out.