Hideous

24th Class

Mahina akong napaungol nang makaramdam ng kirot ng ulo. I slowly opened my eyes just to found out I'm sleeping in her arms. Hindi ako gumalaw at malayang pinagmasadan siyang payapang natutulog habang nakasandal sa sofa. Nakaupo kami sa sahig, magulo at makalat ang buong ssc office dahil sa pagwawalang ginawa ko kanina.

Sumiksik ako sa leeg nya nang maalala ang mga nangyari kanina. Para akong nalulunod sa madilim at malamig na karagatan, I thought I was gonna die in suffocation but someone pulled me out of the vastness of the ocean.

Naramdam ko ang biglang paghipit ng pagkakayakap nya kaya bahagya kong nilayo ang sarili sa kanya. Sinasubong ko ang mapungay niyang mata, she smiled a little then pulled me in a hug again. I didn't bother to resist because I'm too weak. We stayed at our position for a moment. No words, no banters, just listening to the heartbeats of each other.

"Why are you so obsessed with me?"

"Do I look like one to you?"

"That's not the answer I wanna hear" sambit ko saka umalis sa bisig nya. Kumunot ang noo niya nang bahagya akong lumayo sa kanya.

"I won't accept nonsense answer this time. Everything depends in your answer" seryosong sambit ko. Sumeryoso ang mukha nya. I don't know what inside her head.

"I'm not obsessed with you. I like you-- no, I think this is not a simple like anymore. I'm in love you" she whispered.

Dumilim ang paningin ko.

"Tss" tumayo ako, I shouldn't give her a chance, obvious na ginagago nya lang ako.

"Wait Kay" aniya saka hinarang ang sarili sa pinto. "Where are you going?" may halong takot na tanong nya.

"I told you, didn't I? Everything depends in your answer and you chose to fuck it" I said gritting my teeth.

"You don't believe me?" nasasaktang tanong niya.

"Who would believe that bullshits?" I yelled. "Hindi ako pitong taong gulang para gawin ninyong tanga!" naiiyak na namang sambit ko. "Please Sam huwag ka namang dumagdag. B-basag na ako"

"Why c-can't you believe me? H-huwag mo naman akong igaya sa mga taong nanakit sayo. Why can't you give me a chance to prove myself" naluluhang anas niya.

"Para ano? Kunin ang loob ko at saka gaguhin?"

"NO!"

Nagulat ako sa ginawa nitong pagsigaw. Ito ang unang pagkakataong narinig ko siyang sumigaw. I balled my fist when tears fall down in her eyes. She looks tired, physically and emotionally. Napayuko ako at dun nagpatuloy na umiyak. It hurts, I did it, I make her cry.

"Please Kay, kahit isang pagkakataon man lang s-subukan mo naman ako. Kahit sandali lang, and if I still failed to make you believe me then you're freely to go, hindi na kita muling hahabulin. Please, just once hold my hand" pagmamakaawa nya at nilahad ang palad. Parang sinasaksak ang puso ko habang pinapanood siyang maging ganito.

"W-why do you love me?" nahihirapang tanong ko.

Please Sam, I need answer. I wanna hear it. I wanna know that after all this time, after everything, I still have worth.

"I don't understand why you keep asking this. I don't know what kind of answer you want to hear. I just love you why can't you just accept that?"

Bumagsak ang balikat ko sa narinig. So this is it huh? Hanggang dito na lang ba talaga tayo?

"I can't give you a proper answer why do I love you but at least let me tell you when I started to look at you in the eye. Mula sa taong kinaiinisan ko hanggang sa pinakatotoong taong nakilala ko"