You're not Steve

The clementine

Chapter 60

Peter's Pov:

"YOU STINKY WIZARD! YOU POO! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU"

Ned looks at me in surprise as Stephen runs past us followed by Tony throwing dodgeballs at him.

"Was that Tony Stark throwing dodgeballs?"

I laugh, "Yeah, I don't know why he's angry at Stephen though."

"Wow, I never thought I'd hear Tony Stark say 'poo'!" Ned grins excitedly.

I look at Ned, if that gets him excited I don't think I want to know what'll happen when he sees the others. Maybe...this wasn't the best idea.

"Um, well, um, want to see my room?"

"Sure!" Ned says, still in awe.

We walk to the elevator, Ned recovers from his awestruck state and proceeds to fill me in on school.

"And THEN, he stormed out. It was so funny- oh! I was thinking we should join the Academic Decathlon team! You'd be amazing at it, you're so smart and know all those random facts." Ned talks animatedly, bouncing on his toes.

"Sounds fun! But what's academic decathlon again? Is it like the decathlon?" I ask. Track and field doesn't really seem like Ned's thing, but if he wants to I'd be happy to join.

"Peter! It's like, this national ten event academic competition for high schools. The teams are made up with three honor students, three scholastic students, three varsity students - that's all based off GPA's, but anyways it's like so cool, and they need two new members! So like, us!" Ned jumps up and down.

"That, that actually sounds really cool!! We should definitely join!" I start bouncing too, and we do our handshake in excitement.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeee! I'm so excited!"

Just then the elevator door opens and Thor walks in, wearing his dinosaur onesie, a Finding Nemo blanket tied around his necklace like a cape, and carrying the eight foot bear (who we named Bear Bear) on his back.

"To the kitchen, Lady Friday!" Thor smiles when he sees us.

"Young Ned! Pleasure seeing you here today. This is Bear Bear." Thor gestures to Bear Bear.

"Phmmbblgh." Ned makes a questionable sound. "Pleasure meeting you too Mr Thor God!"

Ned bounces up and down, mumbling something about Thor knowing his name.

Thor smiles then pats Ned's head. "Have you seen Stark and Mr Doctor Wizard Strange Stephen? I was sent to find them but had no luck."

Ned's mouth falls open.

"Yeah, we did actually. Uh, Tony was throwing dodgeballs at Stephen in the lobby."

Thor laughs, "Ah, I'll let them know. Oh! You two need to come with me, urgent Barton said."

Ned looks like he might pass out in excitement.

So much for my plan. "Okaay, the kitchen you said?"

"Yup!" Thor grins.

That is not good. There's an awkward moment of silence as Thor grins, I mentally think of all the ways this could go wrong, and Ned breaths.

"Lady Friday? Can you play some tunes please?" Thor booms politely, breaking the silence.

A song I don't recognize comes on, and Thor begins to bob his head to the beat.

Ned and I bob our heads a little, while Thor starts to wave his arms and shake his legs.

By the time the doors open, Thor's doing The Worm on the floor.

"AH! Thank you!" Thor lifts himself off the ground and gestures for us to follow him.

We head to the kitchen, we can hear the music and screams before we're inside.

"HOW DARE YOU PIETRO! AND I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS FOR LIFE!" Clint roars at Pietro from atop the fridge.

"I'm sorry, but like chill dude. It's good." Pietro says from the floor, taking another bite of bagel smothered in cashew butter.

"URGGHH." Clint wipes his eyes and jumps from the fridge to the counter.

"Peter! And Ned! Come, try some bagels!" Pepper smiles and gestures to the 100's of bagels lined up beside the sink.

"We have, peanut butter, almond butter, and cashew butter. After sampling each, please rank from best to worst." Rhodey says holding a platter of bagels.

"I'm tallying it here." Steve gestures to a huge chalkboard behind him. I have no idea where that came from.

There's a chorus of Hi's and Hey's. It seems like almost everyone is in here.

Loki's in a egg chair, sipping tea from his 4 foot wine glass, watching everything go down.

Clint is now on the floor, angrily making snow angels with Scott.

Bucky is drinking orange juice straight from the carton while Sam eats a bagel and tries to grab the orange juice. They're both soaked, and Bucky's hair has greenbeans, burnt pasta, and peanut butter in it.

Nat is sharpening the knives as Wanda puts little braids in her hair

Bruce is at the island trying to eat a bagel.

The mouldy clementine, is still on the ceiling.

I didn't think it was possible, but somehow the kitchen has gotten worse.

"I'm going to have to go with Almond, then peanut, then cashew." Bruce says as Steve excitedly rights that down on his chalk board.

Clint gets up, laughs in Pepper's face, then goes back to snow angeling.

Happy walks in, "They're out of mango salad."

"NOOO." Sam stops fighting Bucky and falls to the floor.

"It's fine, just get some extra curry and shrimp rolls." Pepper says.

"Are you getting Thai food?" I ask excitedly.

"Yeah, that alright?" Steve asks.

"I love Thai food!" I grin.

"Ned, you staying for lunch?"

Ned, who's still in awe from the scene of the kitchen, turns to Steve. His eyes go wide at the question.

At the same time, Stephen comes running in, Tony chasing after with his dodgeballs. A dodgeball flies up and hits the mouldy clementine.

It wobbles then un latches itself from the ceiling.

"NED!" I shout, in slow motion as the clementine falls.

Ned looks up, and faints.

The clementine smacks Ned's face.

And everything goes to chaos.