After Class (Janet and Aaliyah)

Chapter 59

Acacia

My heart was in my ears. The line was silent and I thought she'd hung up.

  "Baby?" I said gently. I heard a door open and close, and then she took a deep breath.

  "Why?"

  "He asked to, and—"

  "Acacia, I can't."

  "Can't what?"

  "I can't do this. I'm sick of talking about it, thinking about it, all of this shit. I'm done."

My stomach sank to the floor and I sat up in bed. She could not have been doing what I think she was doing.

  "What are you saying?"

  "I'm saying I can't—"

  "Come over. Whatever you're about to say, come over and tell me." My voice started to shake. What had just happened? I got up and paced the floor, looking out my bedroom window and thinking she'd just magically appear as quickly as I'd said it.

  "I don't know if I can. It's late. Just let me talk."

  "No," I rushed. "Don't say another word to me until you are in this house, okay. I'm serious. Come right now."

  "Acacia, what is wrong with you today? You been acting really weird."

  "I'm fine, as long as you show up on my doorstep in 20 minutes or less. I need to see you."

She sighed. "I don't know why I can't just—"

  "Because. Are you coming?"

I couldn't calm down for anything. I felt like I was going crazy with the thought of losing her like this, right now. There was no way in hell I could just let this happen like this. And I wondered why she was so quick to do it. I felt my eyes tearing up slowly.

  She was muttering to someone else for a moment before I heard some shuffling. "I'm on the way," she said wearily.

  "Thank you. Okay. Hey, I love you, okay? I love you."

  "Girl—"

  "I'll see you in a minute."

I hung up the phone before she could say anything else, then went into the bathroom to fix myself up. I couldn't believe it.

I opened the garage door for her and then sat down on the couch with Cairo in my lap, trying desperately to calm myself by holding onto him. This was supposed to be our dog. I had to have been missing something. I had to.

  "Cairo, why is she doing this?" I asked, looking down at the sleeping, aloof puppy. In this moment, I wished I could trade places with him. I didn't like this feeling of anxiousness and dread at all.

What felt like hours passed before I heard her locking the door to her car. I stood to my feet and all but sprinted outside in the cold to see her with the most perplexed look on her face. I couldn't stop crying, and she seemingly had no idea why.

  "Acacia, what the hell is wrong with you?" She approached me warily, like she could turn around and get back in her car at any moment. I met her more than halfway and pulled on her arms into my body. "Come on, it's cold." She pulled away slightly and let herself into my house. She seemed so distant already. I tried to steady my breathing as we went upstairs and instinctively into my music room.

  "Why couldn't we just talk on the phone again? It's about to be midnight." She sat on the couch and took her shoes off.

  "Because if you're saying what I think you're saying to me, there's no way in hell you're gonna do it like that."