Crystal Breeze

CB38

CB38

"I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else... I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself... I'd rather have hard times together than to have it easy apart..."

Napapikit ako ng mariin at nagbuntong hininga bago ko muling pinagpatuloy ang panonood sa mga nasa labas ng bintana. Ang malakas na boses ni Diego kasabay ng tugtog sa stereo na binuksan niya kanina ay sumasakop sa buong kotse.

Damn, it's a wrong choice to be with him. Ayoko rin namang sumabay doon sa dalawa! Dapat ay nag-taxi nalang ako o mas mabuti, gumawa na lang ng excuse para hindi makasama!

"Old songs are really something! Diba, Syn? Do you get hook like this too with old songs?"

I sighed. Alam ko namang nag-aasar lang siya. He wasn't even singing along a while ago! Pero noong tumugtog itong kasalukuyang kanta ay halos palitan niya iyong original singer sa radio!

"And then I met someone... And though she could replace you... We got along just fine,"

"Woah! Nice! Ang gandang kanta!"

Lord, can I kill him?

"Nga pala, alam mo ba kung anong nagyari kay Rion dati?"

That piqued my interest. Napalingon ako sa kanya dahil doon. He was still singing along with the song. Pahina iyon ng pahina noong lumingon siya saakin at napagtanto kung gaano ako kaseryoso habang nakatitig sa kanya.

"Anong nangyari?" tanong ko noong tumigil siya sa pagkanta.

Napansin ko ang pagbaba ng Adam's apple niya. He reached for the stereo and turn the volume down.

"So you don't know?"

"Ano nga?"

"Come to think of it, I haven't seen you since that day..."

Doon ko napagtanto ang gusto niyang sabihin. A part of me calmed down because I first thought something happened to him even more but the rest of me still felt heavy even just by remembering.

"He was in a coma for almost a month. A gunshot and a head injury."

"It's a fucking miracle that guy is still alive. It's like he got spare lives to waste."

I clenched my jaw. Pinili kong huwag sumagot sa kanyang sinabi. Naramdaman ko ang sulyap niya saakin ngunit hindi ako lumingon.

He's a tough one. Imagining the extent of what he had been through and how he survived it all felt prideful but at the same time, I also feel guilty and jealous. Kasi kung may nagawa lang ako noon, hindi niya mararanasan lahat ng iyon. He must have not fought for his life. He must have been safe.

Then, here comes jealously. Sana ako din, naging katulad niya. Sana... sana naging mas malakas ako. Sana kaya kong lumaban. Sana... sana mas marami pa akong kayang piliin... sana...

"You knew..."

"I was still there..." mahina kong pag-amin.

"Why didn't you stay?"

"Because I have to go..." ramdam ko ang bahagyang panginginig ng boses ko.

"Is the reason why you have to go more important than staying on the time he needed you most?"

My heart constricted. Bumigat ang paghinga ko dahil pakiramdam ko ay may malaking kamay na sumasakal sa puso ko. It's making me lack air to breathe. Walang ni isang salita ang lumabas sa bibig ko.

Noong napagtanto niyang wala akong balak na sumagot ay muli siyang nagsalita.

"I'm sorry for asking. You don't need to answer that," he said. "It's just that, if you plan on doing it again, then, don't lead him to a wrong idea."