Backstabber (Five Hargreeves x Reader)

Changes Pt.9

Song Choice: Vera Lynn - We'll Meet Again

Lana pitifully placed a hand on the girl's cheek. "(Y/n) darling. They don't care about your problems."

Ouch. (Y/n) easily believed that as a fact.

"They don't care about you. They don't care about anybody. They only care about people as a whole group, not individually. But here in the Despair Facility, you're cared about, you're seen, you're loved, you're welcomed, you're valued. You matter to us, you belong here with us."

(Y/n) felt herself weaken and begin to return to her toxic mindset that she needed to stay with Lana and the Facility. Her face revealed sadness and sentimental longing for her motherly figure's affection as she closed her eyes and snuggled her cheek with Lana's hand, her grip on the gun not as hard as before.

"You just need to keep on sacrificing parts of yourself before you make despair your ally-"

(Y/n) snapped her eyes back open. She knew if Lana talked more that she would eventually manipulate and convince (Y/n) to come back to her, she would use her biggest weakness against her; her indecisiveness. She smacked Lana's hand away with a furious expression and Lana reacted with an offended and shocked face, (Y/n) has never rejected her tenderness before.

"No! I'm done with it! It's not my thing and it never has been! Even though you were the one to show me the world, you were wrong about it all. And now I see that so clearly. You could've chosen anyone else to mentor! Everyone else here clearly loves what you love more than me! Like Melanie or Ta-"

"Ugh!" Lana groaned loudly with an eye roll before (Y/n) could finish. "You think I want that sycophant to be in authority?"

Lana returned to her attentive, motherly caring state. "(Y/n), your destiny is to stay here. Forever. Once you killed your parents and joined us, you knew there was only one way to go. Up. You knew it was survival of the fittest. So you started slashing and slaying by my command. God you were such an addict. You just could never stop. You're still addicted to killing and carnage. You're a bloodlust addict." Lana accused with an evil smile and sly eyes like a snake.

(Y/n) felt her blood run cold and all color in her face drain. Her face proved her heart was in pure shock terror. "T-That's not true!" She defended but her horrified stutter went against her.

"Oh but it is. I've been observing your behavior and it matches up with all the signs and symptoms of an addiction." Lana took a step closer to (Y/n) which prompted to take a step back. Both of their next steps equal.

"You have a lack of control or inability to stay away from a chance of manslaughter. Sometimes you'd have decreased socialization, like abandoning commitments or ignoring relationships, just to do some murder. You ignore risk factors, like just going in on the homicide without thinking of potential consequences. Your withdrawal symptoms from bloodshed include anxiety, sweating, irritability, fatigue, shaking, insomnia, headache, and difficulty concentrating. Read in between the lines, you're a hardcore ruthless addict! You're always itching and bouncing around to spill more blood. You always get so excited. It's weird to think that present you and past you are the same person."

Lana's sinister voice and smile shifted to sad confusion. "But there's this one thing, you never got stars in your eyes. I never saw you thriving while taking someone's life. Surely I know you enjoyed it, but you didn't like doing it. You were always so much softer than the others. I know you wanted to show mercy but you never did. You are such a strange person. Like the embodiment of the Yin Yang. How does one enjoy the action of killing but not the actual death? You didn't enjoy the despair from the guilt of your conscience, but you still did unholy things for fun. That doesn't make any sense. Maybe you just wish you could kill someone without them being a human with feelings and emotions and a life. Maybe you're just the perfect balance of good and evil. But still no stars."