Backstabber (Five Hargreeves x Reader)

Five in Wonderland: A Mad Tea Party

Five had not gone much farther before the house of the March Hare came into sight, along with childish singing. He swung open the gate carefully and slowly approached the table set out under a tree in front of the house, and two men were having tea at it while a blonde woman was sitting between them, fast asleep.

One man had dark brown hair with a big wellington top hat and a fashionable jacket with a bowtie. The other man was asian but had long brown hare ears coming out of his head and also wore a different coat and bowtie. The blonde woman had her golden locks down in waves with mouse ears on her head. She had a coat and bowtie on too but wore a big skirt instead of pants like the other two.

It was Klaus, Ben and Grace!

When the Mad Klaus Hatter and Ben the March Hare saw Five coming, they cried, "No room! No room!"

"There's plenty of room!" Five snapped indignantly and he sat down with authority in a large armchair at one end of the table.

"But it's really rude to just sit down like that without being invited!" The March Ben Hare exclaimed, offended. "It is rude, March Hare. It's very very rude, indeed!" The Mad Klaus Hatter said with a breathy laugh as he lounged in his chair. "Very very very rude, indeed..." Grace the Dormouse stirred in her sleep with her head resting on her arms.

Five was about to argue but he remembered that the Cheshire (Y/n) said that everyone was mad here. So he decided to choose a kinder approach in hopes of gaining respect. "Sorry, um... but I liked your singing and was wondering if you could tell me-"

"You enjoyed our singing?" The March Ben Hare asked excitedly. Klaus the Hatter started clapping as he laughed while wheezing. "Oh, what a delightful child! Hah! I'm so excited, we never get compliments! You must have a cup of tea!"

After Five was given a teacup full of tea, the Hatter took out his watch from his pocket and was looking at it uneasily until holding it to his ear. "What day of the month is it?" He asked, turning to Five.

Five considered a little and said, "The fourth." "Two days wrong!" Klaus the Hatter sighed before tucking it back in his pocket.

Five looked over his shoulder with curiosity. "That's a strange watch." He remarked. "It tells the day of the month and not what the time is." "Half past one, time for dinner!" Klaus the Hatter said urgently while hurryingly switching around random plates on the table. "I wish it was." The March Ben Hare said to himself in a mumble while stirring around his tea, clearly used to the Hatter's mistakes.

"We argued last March!" Klaus the Hatter replied, pointing his teaspoon at the Man-Hare. "It was at the great concert given by the Queen and I had to sing," He began dramatically singing while swishing his index fingers. "Twinkle, twinkle, little bat! How I wonder what you're at! Up above the world you fly, like a tea tray in the sky. Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse when the Queen bawled out," He switched to a high pitched voice and quickly ran his finger across his neck. "'He's murdering the time! Off with his head!'"

"Jesus." Five whispered to himself

Klaus the Hatter began pouring tea in a teacup but then kept switching the tea between cups. "And now our little psycho, uh..." He started slurring his words as he took out a mini flask from his jacket and poured a little bit of it into his own cup of tea. "You were saying that you would like to sea.. uh...? You were seeking some information of some kind..."

Five picked up his cup of tea and blew on it before he said, "Yeah. You see, I'm looking for a-" Klaus the Hatter interrupted. "Clean cup, clean cup! Move down!" Both him and the Hare grabbed Five's arms and began running around the table and sat in different chairs than before.