Backstabber (Five Hargreeves x Reader)

Five in Wonderland: Advice From a Caterpillar

"Oh how late I am! So very late!"

Five snapped his head in the direction where the voice emitted from and saw the White Reginald Rabbit fidgeting with its watch before running into the woods.

Five immediately ran after him. "Hey! Hey you! Stop! Mister! Mister, wait! Hey, asshole!" He yelled through the woods until he slowed down, realizing he had lost the Man-Rabbit.

"Damnit." He huffed out as he stopped before walking at a normal place, analyzing the woods around him with mindfulness, unaware that he was being followed. After walking for awhile he stopped in an opening and looked around, putting his hand right over his eyebrows to give his eyes some shade as he searched for anything that stood out that could lead him somewhere helpful or where he could talk to people.

He turned around to look in a different direction but flinched when his face was met with two men's chests. He snapped his head to look at the faces and almost gasped. 'Diego and Luther?' They were wearing matching identical suits with overalls. On Luther's white collar it read in cursive 'Tweedle #1' and on Diego's it read, in the same font, 'Tweedle #2'.

"Hey, pal, if you think we're wax-works, then you should pay us, you know!" Diego said brashly, glaring down at Five and taking a step forward. "And if you think we're alive you should at least speak to us!" Luther lectured, doing the same thing as Tweedle 2. "It's called logic!" They both scolded in perfect unison.

Five's eyebrows furrowed before he rolled his eyes. "Well, it's been nice but I'll be on my way-"

"You're beginning backwards!" Tweedle 2 yelled at him before Tweedle 1 said, "When you first meet someone the first thing to say is 'How do you do' and shake hands." Tweedle 1 grabbed Five's hand with both of his and started harshly shaking it. "How do you do and shake hands and state your name and business." "It's called manners!" They both said together at once again in sarcasm.

Five clenched his jaw, tapping his foot as he rolled his eyes again, finding the Tweedles as equally as annoying as his two brothers. 'Fine, I'll play their stupid game to make them leave me alone.' "Well, my name is Five and I'm following a white rabbit. So if you don't mind..." Five turned around and began walking until the two Tweedles ran in front and blocked his path by standing shoulder to shoulder.

"You can't go yet!"
"Not when the visit just started!"

Five scoffed and walked around them. "Well I really don't care!"

Tweedle 1 caught up to him and started walking backwards in front of him to keep talking. "Would you like to play hide-and-seek?" Tweedle 2 did the same but on the other side of Five. "Or button-button, who's got the button?"

"No thanks." Five rudely said as he continued to walk.

Tweedle 2 tackled Tweedle 1 and they began to wrestle on the ground. "If you stay long enough we might have a battle!" Five walked around them. "Well I don't have the time."

The two men stopped and stood up. "Why?" They said and tilted their heads at the same time.

"Because I'm following a white rabbit." Five answered. "Why?" The two voices asked.

Five stopped walking. He really didn't know why he was following it. Because it looked like his dad? He turned to the two. "Well, I don't really know. I- I'm curious about him and where he's going and I would like to have a talk with him."

"Ohhhh, he's curious!" Tweedle 1 said to his brother.
"You know who else were curious? The oysters."
"Yeah and you remember what happened to them..."
"Poor things."
"But you wouldn't be interested in knowing what happened to the oysters."
"You're in too much of a hurry to hear the tale of 'The Walrus and the Carpenter'!"
"Or 'The story of the curious Oysters'!"